Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, August 12, 2019

Nearly a year after his bungling execution of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi drew international condemnation, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman is looking to his American allies for help in getting troublesome individuals to commit suicide.

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Bin Salman offered the US billions in financial aid and billions more in weapons purchases if officials would simply reveal the trick to convincing one's enemies or inconvenient friends to take their own lives without having to send in goons to destroy their body. But as far as Epstein himself is concerned, many members of the Saudi royal family were disappointed they were not able to befriend him before his untimely death. "He seemed like he would have really been a great guy to be friends with," Bin Salman noted.

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You don't have to convince the target. Just learn to stage the scene properly. Someone needs to explain to the mean stupid crown prince that no one can dismember themselves. Just look at Gary Webb or Raymond Lemme for good examples.

#1 | Posted by bayviking at 2019-08-12 11:01 AM | Reply

Make them listen to Yoko Ono sing -- er, screech for a few hours. Works every time.

#2 | Posted by goatman at 2019-08-13 11:32 PM | Reply

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