Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, October 09, 2019

A Hobe Sound man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into the reptile's mouth after his friend caught the animal.




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Okay, that's enough internet for today. Signing off.

#1 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-10-09 02:09 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Just what the world needs, drunken alligators.

'Specially ones that are already high on meth....


#2 | Posted by Corky at 2019-10-09 03:34 PM | Reply

I wish I'd thought of this.

#3 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-10-09 10:02 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

"I wish I'd thought of this.


Your dry wit cracks me up.

#4 | Posted by goatman at 2019-10-09 10:04 PM | Reply

Lucky he just tried to get him drunk, not methed up there cork.

As it stands, peta should have these guys' backs. Just trying to make the poor tucker happy.

#5 | Posted by Ottodog at 2019-10-09 10:23 PM | Reply

Gives a whole new meaning to the redneck mantra, "Hold My Beer"

#6 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2019-10-10 12:51 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

For some reason this reminded me of one of Martha Stewart's "Rules for Rednecks."

#7 | Posted by Twinpac at 2019-10-10 06:16 AM | Reply

My mom and aunt traded kids one summer. Mom sick and tired of two ignorant hardheaded boys, and my Aunt with similar feelings on two teenage girls. So me and my brother flew across the country to stay in Okeechobee, FL for 10 weeks. On the second day the Florida game wardens finally caught up to us. We had devised a heavy steel hook and wire and braided it onto a rope hung from a bridge baited with baloney/assorted meat. Certain we would catch one of these prehistoric monsters we had only seen on tv and no plan that I can remember of what to do once we did. Instead we snagged the ranger's airboat, brought it to a complete stop, and dropped him in the canal. He. Was. Hot. Wanted my aunt to send us back to California STAT.
She didn't cave, though, didn't even rat us out to mom. We were dumb kids and thought this made her cool. Only years later did I realize she just didn't want to hear my mom say "I told you so".

#8 | Posted by BluSky at 2019-10-10 07:05 AM | Reply

Always in Florida.

#9 | Posted by JeffJ at 2019-10-10 09:40 AM | Reply

Well,... I dunno...

Seems like this happens at every college town on a Friday night....

You can't just walk up to them and scream "I'm horny...Bite Me..."

You have to spend a little money on them first....

Of course,... once they start their death rolls.... you'll discover that the money spent was well worth it....

It's only afterwards, when you discover how small their reptilian brains really are....and like all reptiles, they are mostly mouth and teeth and very little else...

But by 11 PM, anything with a tail starts looking pretty good.

#10 | Posted by Pegasus at 2019-10-10 01:30 PM | Reply

Odd that the Redneck Survival Manual doesn't mention not to do this.

#11 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-10-10 01:48 PM | Reply

The gator's beer of choice (this is a real product)


#12 | Posted by goatman at 2019-10-10 05:03 PM | Reply

I've tried this, but was rarely able to entice an alligator to give me beer. Pronouns? Ambiguous antecedent?

#13 | Posted by Nuke_Gently at 2019-10-10 09:17 PM | Reply

It turns out you can get a license to do this in Florida. Would've kept the idiots from getting arrested.For God's sake it's $50 bucks man.

#14 | Posted by HeliumRat at 2019-10-10 11:43 PM | Reply

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