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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Thursday, August 13, 2020

The US president's hair-washing complaints on Wednesday prompted the government to propose an easing of shower pressure standards.

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"My hair ... I don't know about you, but it has to be perfect," said the Fanta President, who has an unidentified and poorly groomed animal currently residing on top on his head.

GOP voters nodded in agreement as they were evicted from their homes. They then attempted to determine which one of their progeny who survived in-person school they would cannibalize in the upcoming months as the economy finished collapsing.

#1 | Posted by censored at 2020-08-12 10:53 PM | Reply | Funny: 4

How many "oh my god" moments do we have to have? From the most serious fascist actions to this? I really thought the summation was over the top, then I read what Trump actually said.

Oh s--t.

Censored, all I can say is you did a good job of parody on a story that is anything but parody. This is so stupid I really thought it was going to be an Onion story.

#2 | Posted by YAV at 2020-08-12 11:00 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

'Hair Furor'.... chuckles loudly.

#3 | Posted by Corky at 2020-08-12 11:01 PM | Reply

""So what do you do? You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair " I don't know about you, but it has to be ridiculous," he said.

What a ridiculous person this crazy man is.

#4 | Posted by danni at 2020-08-13 08:42 AM | Reply

Hilarious. All you do is take off the shower head and pull the plastic flow restrictor.

#5 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2020-08-13 08:46 AM | Reply

What makes me laugh is the most powerful man in the world having low flow, and me , a hippy musician in Portland who is usually high as giraffe balls has incredible shower pressure.

#6 | Posted by 503jc69 at 2020-08-13 09:01 AM | Reply | Funny: 5

"My hair ... I don't know about you, but it has to be perfect," said the Fanta President, who has an unidentified and poorly groomed animal currently residing on top on his head.

GOP voters nodded in agreement as they were evicted from their homes. They then attempted to determine which one of their progeny who survived in-person school they would cannibalize in the upcoming months as the economy finished collapsing.

#1 | POSTED BY CENSORED AT 2020-08-12 10:53 PM | REPLY |

Dude, you win for best use of dark humor this week. "Fanta president," lol!

#7 | Posted by cbob at 2020-08-13 09:10 AM | Reply

#7 - Agreed, and the thanks for saying so to CBOB!

#8 | Posted by YAV at 2020-08-13 09:23 AM | Reply

Many people tell me that if I take more golden showers that my skin tone and natural hair color will look even better...
--Words Der Dotard was about to utter, but couldn't because of a distraction from the fake news press

#9 | Posted by catdog at 2020-08-13 09:28 AM | Reply

Ugh, just to imagine Trump in the shower ...

#10 | Posted by eightfifteenpm at 2020-08-13 09:36 AM | Reply

Thank god! It is about time that the administration resolve the most pressing of issues facing the American people. What a bunch of expletive deleteds!

#11 | Posted by lduvall at 2020-08-13 09:38 AM | Reply

Thanks Yav and CBob.

My blog post before it was edited for the Front Page:

TrumpVirus Kill 1,500 Americans; Trump wants better showers
Today TrumpVirus killed 1,500 Americans. Hair Furor decided to try to change the subject yet again. TrumpleThinSkin lamented that existing showers will not let him wash [the blood of 160,000 Americans from his bloated orange body]. Consequently, he would like to rescind many of the water-saving policies enacted by Republicans of yesteryear. The dead could not be reached for comment.

#12 | Posted by censored at 2020-08-13 10:14 AM | Reply

What a snowflake.

He wears a squirrel on his head.

Take it off and run it thru the dishwasher. It will be five.

#13 | Posted by donnerboy at 2020-08-13 10:32 AM | Reply

Showergate is the new scandal that must be dealt with immediately. More important than dealing with the pandemic, more important than saving our Postal Service, more important than millions of Americans being evicted. President Trump needs more water pressure to wash off his makeup! He doesn't like to go to bed orange. When he wakes up his pillow is too messy.

#14 | Posted by danni at 2020-08-13 10:54 AM | Reply

Solution for Orange Hitler:

www.homedepot.com

#15 | Posted by danni at 2020-08-13 10:55 AM | Reply

It will be five.

#13 | POSTED BY DONNERBOY

It will be five squirrels?

And it will be fine too!

#16 | Posted by donnerboy at 2020-08-13 11:39 AM | Reply

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXfv3JbTAOA

#17 | Posted by Derek_Wildstar at 2020-08-13 01:13 PM | Reply

Well we solved that hellish dilemma, now on to something *really important like hangnails or the advantage of boxers over homers.

#18 | Posted by phesterOBoyle at 2020-08-13 01:46 PM | Reply

Does anyone really deserve to think about Trump and showering?

#19 | Posted by Tor at 2020-08-13 01:48 PM | Reply

Trump needs to find one of those pre-restrictor era showers to step into.

More specifically - one of those old-fashioned late 1930s early 1940s German-style showers.

#20 | Posted by pumpkinhead at 2020-08-13 02:14 PM | Reply

Fanta President, who has an unidentified and poorly groomed animal currently residing on top on his head.

#1 | POSTED BY CENSORED AT 2020-08-12 10:53 PM | REPLY |

Great... bad enough that put an image of him in my head... now you've ruined Fanta for me.

#21 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2020-08-13 03:16 PM | Reply

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