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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Thursday, October 22, 2020

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was recently photographed with multiple bruises, raising concerns across social media. In the photos, McConnell's hands appeared to be badly bruised, with bandages on as well.

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It seems obvious to me that a curse doubled back on him.

#1 | Posted by Zed at 2020-10-22 08:39 AM | Reply | Funny: 5 | Newsworthy 1

Looks like broken blood vesels causing internal bleeding but I'm no Dr so.

#2 | Posted by LauraMohr at 2020-10-22 09:51 AM | Reply

Looks like he suffers from manus testudo, Latin for "turtle hands."

No known treatment, but he should be able to continue his current existence sucking up to billionaires at the expense of common Americans for many years to come. Just make sure to give him access to a stagnant pond so he can rest comfortably in-between Senate votes

#3 | Posted by censored at 2020-10-22 11:24 AM | Reply | Funny: 6

They look gangrenous.

#4 | Posted by madscientist at 2020-10-22 01:14 PM | Reply

Maybe he touched a bible.

#5 | Posted by qcp at 2020-10-22 01:16 PM | Reply | Funny: 12

The orange turd had to administer some discipline to get the turtle back in line.

#6 | Posted by SomebodyElse at 2020-10-22 04:55 PM | Reply | Funny: 1 | Newsworthy 1

#3 FF

Manus Testudo needs to be a hashtag.

#7 | Posted by bocaink at 2020-10-22 05:22 PM | Reply

Mitch should go on Fox News to receive an examination and diagnosis from the crack medical team featured on that network. They can provide a fast, accurate analysis of the situation. I suspect it comes from him working too hard in the multiple grifts he is running...

#8 | Posted by catdog at 2020-10-22 05:28 PM | Reply | Funny: 2

Lots of people are saying Mitch McConnell tried to grab Amy Coney Barrett by the -----.

#9 | Posted by snoofy at 2020-10-22 05:41 PM | Reply | Funny: 3

#9

What a wannabe poser. next time just grab Lady G's. Shim likes it.

#10 | Posted by bocaink at 2020-10-22 05:46 PM | Reply

Friends have told me that being on blood thinners will do that. He may be in bad health.

#11 | Posted by TenMile at 2020-10-22 05:50 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

He and Lady G had a slap fight.

#12 | Posted by zelkova at 2020-10-22 06:58 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

DON'T CROSS NANCY.

#13 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2020-10-22 11:09 PM | Reply

I assume he is rotten in the middle too.

#14 | Posted by Brennnn at 2020-10-23 05:11 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

Just all the more so shows his contempt for his constituents. He should release the information if he has major medical issues.

#15 | Posted by TFDNihilist at 2020-10-23 06:05 AM | Reply

TFD

He's not a head of state. Even if an amputation is necessary, Mitch is quite adroit at giving the middle finger salute to democracy with either hand.

#16 | Posted by Twinpac at 2020-10-23 06:51 AM | Reply | Funny: 1 | Newsworthy 1

It seems obvious to me that a curse doubled back on him.

#1 | Posted by Zed at 2020-10-22 08:39 AM |

Holy ----! It would seem all the imprecatory prayers are finally kicking in...here's one for good measure...BLESS HIS HEART!

#17 | Posted by john47 at 2020-10-23 07:16 AM | Reply

Well, the mouth bruising is easy enough to explain. When you gobble as much corporate knob as he does, you're going to have to take some----------- from time to time.

#18 | Posted by DarkVader at 2020-10-23 09:17 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

#6 | Posted by SomebodyElse

That ACTUALLY would not surprise me.

#19 | Posted by GalaxiePete at 2020-10-23 11:54 AM | Reply

COVID spots. Or intense ------------. Choose?

#20 | Posted by getoffmedz at 2020-10-23 11:59 AM | Reply

It's about time to get rid of this "Old Turtle"......next to Trump, he's the main br />
architect that tells Trump what delaying tactics to use....... He's the main guy who
stopped Obama from electing his Supreme Court nominee...and this turtle advised
Trump when to start electing Federal Judges across the country, this way his selected
judges will have conservative ideals, in comparison to liberal judges.
....as it is now, liberal judges are hugely outnumbered, almost by a ratio of 3 to one.
As you'll notice, Trump hasn't fired him.......He advised Trump not to approve
the second stimulus bill.....We should focus on that turtle and send back to the "swamp"
where he belongs.......Trump promised to drain the swamp.....so let the whole GOP go back
to the swamp.....

#21 | Posted by saginawmi at 2020-10-23 11:59 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Looks like he got roughed up.
Putin send the boys?

#22 | Posted by Docman at 2020-10-23 08:33 PM | Reply

This confederate monument is rotting from the inside out.

#23 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2020-10-24 09:22 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

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