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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Friday, October 23, 2020

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's hands have become the unlikely subject of wild speculation on social media as people obsess over how badly bruised they look this week, but Kentucky's longtime senator isn't saying much about it

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I'm hoping it's just rigor mortis and not anything serious.

#1 | Posted by bocaink at 2020-10-23 02:13 PM | Reply | Funny: 5 | Newsworthy 1

They do look cadaverous.

#2 | Posted by Twinpac at 2020-10-23 02:19 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

And what's going on with those luscious amphibian lips of his?

Sending tots and pears that McConnell's reptilian metamorphosis goes better than Trump's orange plague-rat mutation.

#3 | Posted by censored at 2020-10-23 02:47 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

CENSORED

Maybe he's really one of those alien Reptilians my neighbor always claim she sees everywhere she goes. She thinks we're being invaded. She said she can tell by the shape of their head. She thinks Ivanka is a Reptilian hybrid.

#4 | Posted by Twinpac at 2020-10-23 03:00 PM | Reply | Funny: 3

Does he have Michael Jackson's disease profile? Is he gaining melanin? If he turns all black not only is there a God, but obviously the Devil.

More seriously - the broken blood vessel under his nose and the extreme bruising look like a blood disorder. Probably a side-effect from medication.

#5 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2020-10-23 03:21 PM | Reply

Ooh, cardiovascular disease?! Does the mushroom soup-filled bag he calls a heart demonstrate irregularities?

#6 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2020-10-23 03:25 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

If the issue was not serious, one would disclose details to allay speculation.

Of course that's in a rational world, not bizaro-land.

#7 | Posted by SunTzuMeow at 2020-10-23 03:46 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Leukemia? One can hope,I guess?

#8 | Posted by Effeteposer at 2020-10-23 03:48 PM | Reply

If you squint and think wonderful thoughts, he kinda looks like he got his ass kicked, and hand stomped.

#9 | Posted by oldwhiskeysour at 2020-10-23 03:49 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

I'm still going with car battery wired to alligator clamps.

Anyone seen a shirtless pic of Mc?

Bet his nips exploded.

#10 | Posted by ClownShack at 2020-10-23 03:52 PM | Reply | Funny: 3

I'm still going with car battery wired to alligator clamps.
Anyone seen a shirtless pic of Mc?
Bet his nips exploded.
#10 | POSTED BY CLOWNSHACK AT 2020-10-23 03:52 PM

OOooohhh... coming down now.. That's a good one. It get a green star for how deliciously rotten language can pose serious thought to the medical health of Mitch McConnell's -------. How -----.

Let's see in context what gets redacted first.

#11 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2020-10-23 04:01 PM | Reply

Cha?

#12 | Posted by ClownShack at 2020-10-23 05:08 PM | Reply

The reading I did said this can happen when a person is on blood thinners. Not surprising given he's 80 years old and a giant bag of hippo diarrhea.

#13 | Posted by jpw at 2020-10-23 05:43 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Trumpy probably had his "fixer" bitch slap him for not passing the relief package in time to buy Trumpy some more votes.

#14 | Posted by donnerboy at 2020-10-23 07:31 PM | Reply

"Trumpy probably had his "fixer" bitch slap him for not passing the relief package in time to buy Trumpy some more votes."

#14 | POSTED BY DONNERBOY

This is only partially McConnell's fault this time. Pelosi's House Dems say they won't vote for a bill that Mitch won't agree in advance to bring to the Senate floor. That's the bar Pelosi is trying to reach in her negotiations with Steve Mnuchin. But once that agreement is reached, Mitch has to agree NOT to stonewall it. IOW, keep Trump's nose out of it.

#15 | Posted by Twinpac at 2020-10-23 07:50 PM | Reply

"The first rule of fight club...."

#16 | Posted by HanoverFist at 2020-10-23 07:54 PM | Reply

" But once that agreement is reached, Mitch has to agree NOT to stonewall it. IOW, keep Trump's nose out of it."

That puts the onus on Trump and his veto pen. So far Mitch isn't inclined to make any such agreement. That's why Mitch is saying there won't be any bill before the election. He doesn't want to make Trump look like the bad guy before the election.

#17 | Posted by Twinpac at 2020-10-23 08:03 PM | Reply

I have had friends on blood thinners who had bruises but Mitch's look much worse. He must be on a mega dose.

#18 | Posted by TenMile at 2020-10-23 08:35 PM | Reply

Looks like the skin is rotting on Mitch's man suit. He'll have to get another host soon.

#19 | Posted by dibblda at 2020-10-24 01:33 AM | Reply | Funny: 3

Perhaps he's been juggling plutonium balls.

#20 | Posted by madscientist at 2020-10-24 09:27 AM | Reply

MAD

I'm still going with QCP's entry ~~ "He touched a bible."

#21 | Posted by Twinpac at 2020-10-24 10:22 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

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