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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Sunday, April 04, 2021

A Washington state rancher has pleaded guilty to wire fraud and could face up to 20 years in prison for defrauding Tyson Foods and another unnamed company $244 million in costs for buying and feeding hundreds of thousands of cattle that didn't exist.

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"An old cowboy went ridin' out one dark and windy day
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty herd of red eyed cows, he saw
Plowed through the ragged skies and up a cloudy draw

Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel
Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath you could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky
For he saw the riders coming hard and he heard their mournful cry

Yipie I oh, yipie I ay, ghost riders in the sky"

#1 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2021-04-04 12:28 PM | Reply

A smart lawyer could make a case for this rancher. Suppose he's so dumb he didn't know cows had two horns so he counted every one twice.

#2 | Posted by Twinpac at 2021-04-04 08:25 PM | Reply

He needs traitor tot's lawyer who convinced Mueller that he was too stupid to know that taking help from a russian spy in 2016 and therefore is not a crime.

#3 | Posted by Nixon at 2021-04-05 03:48 PM | Reply

He should have slaughtered a couple out in the middle of nowhere and claimed that it's another case of cow abduction and mutilation that has, after 40+ years, still yet to have been solved.

#4 | Posted by rstybeach11 at 2021-04-05 03:52 PM | Reply

Eastern Washington is basically West Idaho aka Dumbfukistan

#5 | Posted by a_monson at 2021-04-05 05:42 PM | Reply

Those cows are every bit as real as the GOP health care plan.

#6 | Posted by johnny_hotsauce at 2021-04-05 10:45 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

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