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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Monday, April 05, 2021

Chris Rock was right never set foot in any vehicle with an angry woman you have no idea what she might do. In this case she opened fire on a Burger King and then got back in the vehicle.

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She wants it her way.

#1 | Posted by fortfisher at 2021-04-05 11:52 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

That's right out of Chappelle and Wayne Brady.

#2 | Posted by kwrx25 at 2021-04-06 08:22 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

Chris Rock did it first, though:

www.youtube.com

#3 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-06 08:37 AM | Reply

Never get in a car with an angry woman.

www.youtube.com

#4 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-06 08:43 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

That's a whopper!

#5 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2021-04-06 10:29 AM | Reply

www.youtube.com

----, Dave. Dave, ----. Bitches.

#6 | Posted by kwrx25 at 2021-04-06 11:02 AM | Reply

Incidentally, after 35 years of driving, I've discovered heuristically through trial and error to do these following things:

1. Don't speed. There really isn't any reason to now that the speed limits are 75-85 mph in west Texas. And 75 on even most rural state highways and Farm-to-Market roads.

2. If you'vfe had a couple drinks during dinner or at a sports bar with co-workers, light a cigar to mask the smell of alcohol.

3. If you are pulled over, stay calm and tell the officer, "You got me, man", even though you might have done nothing wrong in thefirst place. Like them mistaking a car passing you for you. I tried arguing this in traffic court by lost by a long margin. Since I had no passenger to corroborate my testimony.

4. So, just defuse the situation immediately so the cop doesn't get to enter into his righteous indignation of apprehending you as a law breaker.

5. It has always worked ever since my best friends father told me to use this tactic. I've always gotten off with a warning since.

6. However, I am an orange-haired corn-fed whiteboy. I don't know how well these theories work in real life with black and latino citizens.

#7 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-06 11:25 AM | Reply

#7 Is this a list? are you just numbering the sentences by the end? This makes no sense by the end.

#8 | Posted by kwrx25 at 2021-04-06 12:25 PM | Reply

The cardinal numbering of the sentences was to provide a structured asssembly of my thoughts.

I've been advised in the past to "not complain, and don't explain", however, I break this rule rather regularly here to ensure a more complete though is rendered.

They can be boiled down to, don't speed, but if you're caught, ameliorate the situation with the cop/trooper by saying, "You got me man." It will immediately disarm them from entering into their cop-authority position. And treat you like a fellow human being instead of a juicy statistic.

The caveat i ended the list with is that i'm only going by my own personal observations as a red-headed, cornfed local. I don't know if this works for black and Latino citizens, but it's worth a try.

#9 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-06 12:37 PM | Reply

Also, after reading Will Durant's 11-volume set of Story of Western Civilization and Treatises on Philosophy, I got used to reading him. He used very few action verbs and mostly adjectives and nouns to make his thoughts known. If was very difficult to read at first due to his long descriptive sentences. But, after you get used to it, you're able to hold three separate ideas in your head simultaneously and differentiate among them. It was an 11-volume set that they used to give out free if you joined a book club back in the late 1960s.

en.wikipedia.org

I got pretty-good at Jeopardy after that.

I'd encourage anyone to read it. It fills in many gaps in our historical knowledge starting with the Egyptian civilization, from Sumerian, Assyrian, Babylonian, the Levant, the Greek and Roman Empires, and an entire volume entitled "Ceasar and Christ" which detailed almost everything known about early Christianity and its influence on Rome.

#10 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-06 12:51 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

I have no idea what theology is doing in the comment section.

I'm just trying to imagine the conversation they must have had as they drove away from the site of the shooting LOL

#11 | Posted by Tor at 2021-04-08 06:19 PM | Reply

Will Durant's 11-volume set of Story of Western Civilization

Second most OP history book IMNHO, only behind Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by Shirer. And the audios are available with Roy Detrice reading.

I'd like to add a #7: never eyeball them when they pull along side you or when they are are on the shoulder running a speed trap. Texas HP have this particular habit of running up on you from behind, pulling alongside and staring. If you acknowledge them they will hit the lights. Granted, I may not be the best indicator as I always get hassled at stadiums, airports and by patrol cops. Guess I have that up-to-no-good-hippy look about me. On the rare occasions where I'm not riding dirty I like to pick my nose and pretend shock when they 'catch' me. Always good for a laugh.

#12 | Posted by BluSky at 2021-04-08 06:34 PM | Reply

I've read the Shirer book, as well. A very interesting how-to manual on teh rise of a madman dictator and the steps taken in order to become a demigogue.

#13 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-08 06:58 PM | Reply

I've been concerned ever since that a dictatorial, lawless, madman, enthusiastic autocrat could come to power in the United States. We've got a sizable German population here.

#14 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-08 06:59 PM | Reply

Arnold Schwarzenegger is Germanic and he was opposed to Trump's Insanity to the point of self-sacrifice.

#15 | Posted by Tor at 2021-04-08 07:00 PM | Reply

Austrian. T-800 is Austrian.

#16 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2021-04-08 07:16 PM | Reply

I wrote Germanic and not German for a reason.

#17 | Posted by Tor at 2021-04-08 07:31 PM | Reply

Arnold Schwarzenegger was Austrian.

#18 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-08 07:40 PM | Reply

#12 | Posted by BluSky

When I was 19 or 20 I was pretty drunk while driving on a freeway about 2 am. I'd been wolfing down Jumbo Jacks and had gobs of sauce all over my face, hands and arms when a highway patrol car pulled up alongside of me. The cop rolled down his window, did a double take, and mouthed what must have been 'oh, ****' and sped off, shaking his head as if to say, "what a loser!." I think his shift must have been drawing to a close and he didn't want to have to deal with me. I was embarrassed over his reaction, but thanked my lucky stars he hadn't hit the lights. My guardian angels handed me a break that night.

#19 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2021-04-08 07:43 PM | Reply

Wow Tor, you might as well have said "Swiss-ish"

#20 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2021-04-08 08:33 PM | Reply

He got weed, officer!!! He got weed!!!

#21 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-08 08:37 PM | Reply

Switzerland is considered germantic as well.

#22 | Posted by Tor at 2021-04-08 10:10 PM | Reply

Don't forget the Italian, French, and Romansh quarters.

#23 | Posted by madscientist at 2021-04-08 10:38 PM | Reply

My guardian angels handed me a break that night.
This never happens to me, ever. I'm a terrible criminal. Been arrested in 5 US states and 3 countries. Never for anything serious, mind-you.

Got nicked in Athens, Georgia for climbing a lightpole. I was tripping pretty hard so when the cop said, "Hey, you can't climb that!", I thought he meant I wasn't capable of climbing a greased up lightpole, not 'I will take you to jail if you climb that lightpole'. But I had lost my friend somewhere in the fray and really needed to find him.
He turned up cuffed just before breakfast with the same look on his face I surely had on mine: oh-you-were-serious?!

#24 | Posted by BluSky at 2021-04-08 11:21 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

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