Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Friday, August 05, 2022

I've volunteered to help friends of a guy fulfill his dying wish to be subjected to a comedy roast. I'm going as backup in case people who actually know him can't go through with it. I'm already planning to dress like the grim reaper and do a Norm McDonald impression but if anyone have any advise or ideas of things I could say or do please share them.



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I thought this was a Rein thread. I've long suspected that he roasts and eats people.

#1 | Posted by SheepleSchism at 2022-08-05 10:58 PM | Reply

Still looking for any advice.

#2 | Posted by Tor at 2022-08-06 08:01 PM | Reply

Find out what his favorite foods are. Bring a portable roaster with you. Think of as many jokes about the food as you can. Be prepared to stand your ground if anyone tries to kick you off the stage before the food is done roasting.

#3 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 03:17 AM | Reply

This might come in useful:

Oven Roasting Times for Different Vegetables

#4 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 03:40 AM | Reply

Meat and Poultry Roasting Charts

#5 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 03:43 AM | Reply

Or if you're really brave: www.youtube.com

#6 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 03:46 AM | Reply

If you don't think he has that much time left, I'd go with the vegetables or a very small portion of meat.

#7 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 03:50 AM | Reply

He might not like the long pork anyways. Or maybe he does... who knows?

#8 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 04:17 AM | Reply


#9 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 04:18 AM | Reply


not one zinger about how bad he looks?

#10 | Posted by Tor at 2022-08-07 02:59 PM | Reply

Does he wear glasses?

#11 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 06:20 PM | Reply


#12 | Posted by Tor at 2022-08-07 06:37 PM | Reply

"To Serve Man"

#13 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2022-08-07 07:28 PM | Reply


You could tell the dog-with-no-nose joke, and then ask him to take off his glasses.

#14 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-08-07 10:08 PM | Reply

This guy is so boring that nobody knows anything to roast him for. How can you roast a guy like this. Okay so this is why I brought a crack smoking torch to take turns - no he might not deserve that. How about we beat him with these rubber hoses? I mean he deserves punishment for being such a dull fellow, right? What has he done to deserve a proper roast? His mother should have stuck him in the oven as a fat baby.

#15 | Posted by grumpy_too at 2022-08-08 02:13 AM | Reply

What is he dying of?

#16 | Posted by Nixon at 2022-08-08 07:02 AM | Reply

Talk about what's going to happen if he makes it into heaven.

#17 | Posted by boaz at 2022-08-08 11:48 AM | Reply

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