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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Friday, December 02, 2022

Vladimir Putin has fallen down his stairs and bruised his tailbone, it has been claimed. He is believed to have stumbled and fallen onto his back, sliding down a couple of steps on his side.

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----- Pootey, striking fear into the hearts of Russia's enemies, one ----- at a time.

#1 | Posted by censored at 2022-12-02 10:33 AM | Reply

"cancer of the gastrointestinal tract"

Depending on where should make a big difference in life expectancy.

#2 | Posted by snoofy at 2022-12-02 10:54 AM | Reply

When asked if he thought this was a good time to make a comeback, Chevy Chase replied "I'm too old for this ----."

#3 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-12-02 11:06 AM | Reply

Seriously, though, peace be upon him.

#4 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-12-02 11:10 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

I'm wondering... if there were a possible back injury in the fall, why did the "entourage" decide to move him to a sofa?

#5 | Posted by LampLighter at 2022-12-02 12:15 PM | Reply

I suppose they didn't want him to lie there in a puddle of poop.

#6 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2022-12-02 12:41 PM | Reply

So, instead, possibly give him a spinal cord injury?

#7 | Posted by LampLighter at 2022-12-02 02:04 PM | Reply

Putin spent most of the Helsinki Summit wiping his ass with Dotard's wig.

#8 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2022-12-02 02:20 PM | Reply

It's like the old saying don't believe it till the Kremlin denies it.

#9 | Posted by Tor at 2022-12-02 02:26 PM | Reply

The adjective "-----" in my #1 was censored. Gosh-darn it to heck!

#10 | Posted by censored at 2022-12-02 02:28 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Yeah, you think Twitter got issues...

#11 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2022-12-02 02:39 PM | Reply

they censored your number one post about number two?

#12 | Posted by Tor at 2022-12-02 02:45 PM | Reply | Funny: 4

How much do I have to pay to see video of this happening?

#13 | Posted by SpeakSoftly at 2022-12-02 05:03 PM | Reply | Funny: 3

One hopes his colostomy bag didn't burst. If he were to fall down two or more flights of stairs, it would be because he was pushed and kicked along the way...

#14 | Posted by catdog at 2022-12-02 05:30 PM | Reply

Fat Donnie Loser can't waddle down a ramp. Poo-tey can't walk down stairs. Coincidence??

#15 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2022-12-02 06:59 PM | Reply

A lot of Russians are having problems with stairs recently. I suspect Vlad may be well sdvised to stay on the ground floor. I'm thinking that with the numbers of Russian troops being killed his number may be up very soon. Truthfully, he can't die fast enough for me. I will celebrate his death especially if it is a painful one with lots of incontinence. He's going to be wearing diapers soon and he knows it.

#16 | Posted by danni at 2022-12-02 08:25 PM | Reply

Personally, I thinks it's pretty crappy to make these jokes at Poo-tin's expense.

#17 | Posted by censored at 2022-12-02 10:48 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Putin has been putting up a good front considering how close he is to death's doorstep.

I'm surprised his lavish retreat didn't have a stair lift.

#18 | Posted by Twinpac at 2022-12-02 11:06 PM | Reply

If reports are true that Putin has pancreatic cancer, his end is coming sooner rather than later. Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst.

Very few survive beyond a year or two.

#19 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2022-12-03 04:20 AM | Reply

Too bad he didn't have a problem with a window.

#20 | Posted by Yodagirl at 2022-12-03 06:08 AM | Reply

There is months-long speculation by some in the leftwing conspiracy propaganda block that he is showing signs of MS or ALS.

If true he will have good days and bad. No wonder he is in such a rush to accomplish his life's ambitions by any means. Vain effer probably already has his bronze statues stored in a warehouse somewhere, convinced he is a national hero and everyone is going to wat to look at his effigy in perpetuity. Being the king of the world doesn't mean dukey against the ravages of time.

#21 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2022-12-03 03:37 PM | Reply

"More Weight. More Weight".

#22 | Posted by Effeteposer at 2022-12-03 05:33 PM | Reply

All he is is the king of poop.

#23 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2022-12-03 08:21 PM | Reply

ALS eventually you have no good days.

#24 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2022-12-03 08:21 PM | Reply

Need proof. Not allegations.

#25 | Posted by wolfdog at 2022-12-03 10:58 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

"Need proof. Not allegations."

Just ask your overlord the next time he issues marching orders, tovaritch.

He probably knows Vlad personally.

#26 | Posted by Danforth at 2022-12-03 11:14 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

DANFORTH

Wolfdog (and BlueWaffle) is one of the proteges of the banned poster, cliff irvine, who is still directing the talking points.

#27 | Posted by Twinpac at 2022-12-04 12:44 AM | Reply

"There is months-long speculation by some in the leftwing conspiracy propaganda block that he is showing signs of MS or ALS."

It's not our fault that Putin is showing signs of having aids.

#28 | Posted by Tor at 2022-12-04 12:57 AM | Reply

"Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst." Or best, considering your perspective.

/

#29 | Posted by danni at 2022-12-04 05:57 AM | Reply

If he actually believed in the preachings of his church I would think that as he gets closer to approaching his maker he might slow down on murdering innocent people...or not... I hope they turn up the hest of the fire in hell sothat he will receive the welcome he deserves when he arrives for his eternal reservation.

#30 | Posted by danni at 2022-12-04 06:08 AM | Reply

These things are best sorted by committee.
youtu.be

#31 | Posted by BluSky at 2022-12-04 06:36 AM | Reply

I question why this 'falling down the stairs' story was even released t the public. It just doesn't fit with the "strongman" image Russia likes to project about their leaders.

It could be that Mr. Putin has already died, and the Kremlin needed a cover story to explain his continued isolation while they scramble to pick his replacement. (Not that they didn't already have a contingency plan anyway)

#32 | Posted by Twinpac at 2022-12-04 06:59 AM | Reply

Well a fall down the stairs would explain any future gimpiness it would be better than admitting that he now has an autoimmune neurodegenerative disease like a sissy.

#33 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2022-12-04 11:11 AM | Reply

oh one more thing men in waders soil themselves all the time... nobody cares.

#34 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2022-12-04 11:18 AM | Reply

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