Putin Offers Russian Soldiers Free Sperm Banks

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Russian troops who have been conscripted to fight in Ukraine may soon be entitled to an unusual health benefit: free sperm banks.

Posted by LegallyYourDead at 05:31 PM | 10 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry |

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Public funds will be used to finance the "free conservation and storage of sperm cells for citizens mobilized to participate in the special military operation

Yeah, cause Russian women want nothing more than to conceive and raise by themselves the child of a long-dead husband who was dumb enough to throw his life away in a pointless war of Russian aggression.

#1 | Posted by censored at 2022-12-28 02:09 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 2

Putin Covets Soviet Sperm

I hear he bathes in it.

#2 | Posted by ClownShack at 2022-12-28 02:12 PM | Reply

No that I'm opposed to this being done for all those drafted but it would be better if Putin just gave up on this war and allowed the fathers to live and provide for their offspring.

#3 | Posted by Tor at 2022-12-28 04:03 PM | Reply

why is that?

Because they are being jerked around of course. It' Pootzies hands-on approach... next comes women "volunteering" to be incubators. 19 years from now he will have a new army... more or less.

#4 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2022-12-28 06:11 PM | Reply

That's mighty white of Vladdy.

#5 | Posted by a_monson at 2022-12-29 01:10 AM | Reply

Everybody knows that Russians have red sperm.

#6 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-12-29 01:21 AM | Reply

Any early withdrawal penalties?

#7 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2022-12-29 06:50 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

Why not let these boys and old men store up some sperm for their wives and sweethearts as they are going to get killed soon enough in yet another botched Russian attack westward. Putler is scum.

#8 | Posted by Wildman62 at 2022-12-29 11:24 AM | Reply

Gotta keep the meat coming for the grinder.

#9 | Posted by Derek_Wildstar at 2022-12-29 12:26 PM | Reply

What do you think is in the burgers?

#10 | Posted by sentinel at 2022-12-29 12:48 PM | Reply