Tom Brady Retires from Football

Wednesday, February 01, 2023

After 23 seasons, seven Super Bowls, three MVPs, 649 touchdown passes and 89,214 passing yards, Tom Brady is retiring from football. He announced his decision Wednesday morning on social media: "I won't be longwinded. You only get one super emotional retirement essay, and I used mine up last year, so really thank you guys so much to every single one of you for supporting me."

Posted by retort at 08:44 AM | 30 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry |

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Jackass gave up his family for that horrible season.

#1 | Posted by Nixon at 2023-02-01 08:51 AM | Reply

He likes attention.

#2 | Posted by Zed at 2023-02-01 09:35 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Waits until presuperbowl to take the spotlight, will probably unretire next week to keep it on him.

#3 | Posted by mattm at 2023-02-01 09:38 AM | Reply

Attention whore will be back. I guarantee. Surprised he didn't announce on Super Bowl Sundae.

#4 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2023-02-01 09:46 AM | Reply

www.youtube.com

#5 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2023-02-01 09:47 AM | Reply

Greatest cheater in the history of the NFL. Did he ever get his shrunken balls problem addressed?

#6 | Posted by johnny_hotsauce at 2023-02-01 10:11 AM | Reply

Out with a whimper, not a bang. As for the ex-wife, she has moved on ...

#7 | Posted by catdog at 2023-02-01 10:34 AM | Reply

Now that he has $300M, multiple bachelor pads and can choose any woman that will have him, he retires. We're all living in Tom Brady's wake.

#8 | Posted by lee_the_agent at 2023-02-01 10:42 AM | Reply

Sorry Lee, can't worship at the altar of Tom Brady's masculinity,
like so many other toxic males.

He was a great athlete, but sadly, his ego got the
better of him. He will have to live with the consequences
of his divorce from here on out. Sure, there will plenty
of ---- ready to 'jump in his bed', but now his children
have to live w all that baggage.

#9 | Posted by earthmuse at 2023-02-01 10:49 AM | Reply

He's going to be Dallas' next OC.... just you watch!

#10 | Posted by Corky at 2023-02-01 10:56 AM | Reply

I don't think the divorce has to mean that Tom Brady's kids suffer. He can spend as much time with them as he wants, especially now that he re-retired.

I'm glad the Cowboys finally managed to beat Brady for the first time. They managed that right at the wire.

#11 | Posted by rcade at 2023-02-01 11:51 AM | Reply

Jackass gave up his family for that horrible season.

#1 | Posted by Nixon

More like Yoko ruined his final season by demanding to turn the GOAT into a babysitter.

#12 | Posted by SpeakSoftly at 2023-02-01 11:58 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

#12

Precisely. Giselle said she had sacrificed enough and it was Tom's turn. He spent six weeks seeing what his life was going to be like and he packed his bags.

#13 | Posted by lee_the_agent at 2023-02-01 12:40 PM | Reply

Yeah. The kids will have to suffer all the private jet flights around the globe. Eating the best food and never worrying about were the next meal is coming from. Having all their reasonable desires catered to. Getting funded for their business proposals after getting degrees from prestigious universities. All those open doors because of family connections will be exhausting and detrimental.

#14 | Posted by lee_the_agent at 2023-02-01 12:44 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

I'm not talking about financials at all (leave it to a Republican to focus on the money).
I'm talking about having to DEAL with the parents getting a messy divorce.
Those are not scars any child gets over soon. Even if they are mostly grown and rich.

#15 | Posted by earthmuse at 2023-02-01 01:27 PM | Reply

He's going to be Dallas' next OC.... just you watch!

#10 | Posted by Corky

naw...(unless you're trying to be funny ).....superstars don't screw with being coaches.

#16 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2023-02-01 02:23 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

"All those open doors because of family connections will be exhausting and detrimental."

Mudbummer will swear they're all "self-made" millionaires.

#17 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2023-02-01 02:23 PM | Reply

figures that raw jealousy is behind comments I'm reading.

it's sad anytime a big time stud athlete tries to hang on one more season.

anyone can say he just wanted the attention but I don't believe that.

"the smell of the greasepaint and roar of the crowd" is as strong as any drug.

NFL is a professional league and they get paid for one thing....to win...and win it all.

and he's done that more than any player in nfl...that's why he's the goat, this last season not withstanding.

#18 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2023-02-01 02:26 PM | Reply

"superstars don't screw with being coaches."

Magic Johnson
Patrick Ewing
Don Mattingly
Jason Kidd
etc. etc.

#19 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2023-02-01 02:27 PM | Reply

Oh, and Deion Sanders.

#20 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2023-02-01 02:28 PM | Reply

19 | Posted by LegallyYourDead

naw....Prime and Kidd( to a small extent)... were the only ones who did squat.

the rest sucked hard.

magic was a joke."figureheads don't count.

#21 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2023-02-01 02:39 PM | Reply

even Jordon has been a total flop in management.

#22 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2023-02-01 02:40 PM | Reply

Oh, and Deion Sanders.

#20 | Posted by LegallyYourDead

I'll give you this one.

a real stud.

I remember the day he scored a TD with the Falcons and hit a HR with the braves.....on the same day.

almost "BO-LIKE"

#23 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2023-02-01 02:49 PM | Reply

Who cares. We have a Civil War brewing. Brother against Brother. It's the Kelce Bowl.

#24 | Posted by LauraMohr at 2023-02-01 03:06 PM | Reply

Oh, and Deion Sanders.

#20 | Posted by LegallyYourDead

We watched the documentary series on his amazing coaching run at Jackson State called "Coach Prime." Recommended.

#25 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2023-02-01 03:07 PM | Reply

No idea why he picked Colorado of all places.

#26 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2023-02-01 04:03 PM | Reply

End of an era. The greatest quarterback without a question, likely the greatest football player, and likely one of the greatest athletes, ever.

He has more superbowl rings than any other TEAM.

The man just wins. That's it. Can't beat Father Time, but he sure took him deepest into the late rounds.

Good and have a good retirement. You earned it, GOAT.

#27 | Posted by ABH at 2023-02-02 03:27 PM | Reply

He was a 6th round draft pick. Keep that in mind.

#28 | Posted by BellRinger at 2023-02-02 03:30 PM | Reply

Maybe now he can do more with his life than chasing balls.

#29 | Posted by Brennnn at 2023-02-02 04:17 PM | Reply

"Maybe now he can do more with his life than chasing balls."

Yeahthat'sunlikely.

#30 | Posted by Angrydad at 2023-02-02 07:43 PM | Reply