Wednesday, April 15, 2026

Fitness Test Named After Morbidly Obese Orange Nonce

Over the years, America has been blessed with visionaries in fitness who have reshaped how we exercise. Including one who hails from the great state of Oklahoma. Oklahoma senators decided the 79-year-old should be our school-aged children's fitness role model. While the details of the Trump administration's fitness plan are still being worked out, I suspect someone whose only exercise is playing golf probably wouldn't be able to pass the screening. The guidelines are expected to include pull-ups or push-ups, V-ups (a modified version of a sit up), a 1-mile run, and some sort of stretching component to measure how far you can reach beyond your toes.

Comments

Tiffany Trump pounded down 10,000 calories a day to keep from getting molested by her brain dead father.

www.vanityfair.com

#1 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2026-04-15 03:18 PM

Throw each member of the odious Trumpf Crime Family (TCF) one at a time down the deepest well you could find.

#2 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-04-15 03:37 PM

Eat 3 Quarter Pounders, chug 2 chocolate shakes, and rape a 12 year old in less than 10 minutes is the standard.

#3 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-04-15 03:41 PM

Ha!

#4 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-04-15 03:49 PM

A Fitness Test named after a man who says working out is bad for you.

#5 | Posted by Sycophant at 2026-04-16 03:48 AM

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