HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced in a cabinet meeting that his agency has identified "interventions" that it says are behind rising autism rates and will "address them" next month. "We will have that answer for you," RFK Jr told Dotard Trumpf. He did not elaborate on what the "interventions" were, or how HHS will address them. The nephew of JFK first pledged in April to find the "environmental toxin" that he says must be behind rising autism rates by Sep 2025. Scientists dispute the reasons autism rates have rapidly increased in the last few decades, but most believe a combination of factors including better diagnostic criteria, genetics, and environmental pollution is likely at play. Experts have also doubted whether Kennedy's self-imposed September deadline was realistic. Even Kennedy's own CDC director said it's difficult to set hard deadlines when it comes to scientific discoveries.

"I think we maybe know the reason, and I look forward to that press conference," said President Dummkopf Trumpf. RFK Jr made himself a small fortune peddling anti-vaccination policies, even though he had his own children secretly inoculated against disease, according to his first cousin Caroline. Link: Mountebank's Pelf. Dotard Trumpf's interest in autism might have arisen out of allegations his son Barron may lie somewhere on the spectrum. The Manhattan real estate oligarch who never worked a day in his life reportedly flew into a rage at actress Rosie O'Donnell when she speculated that Barron was autistic. O'Donnell apologized and later deleted this social post: Is Barron Trumpf Autistic?. Either way, September is around the corner and the Trumpf junta has yet another spectacle ready to distract the great unwashed masses from their failed foreign, economic, and domestic policies, as well as Trumpf's previous relationship with the sinister sex fiends Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.