A Visit from the Speaker
Twas the night before impeachment
And all through the Senate
Not a creature was stirring
Not even Mike Bennet.
Indictments were charged
By Pelosi with prayer,
In the hopes that removal
Would pass over there.
Biden, Bernie and Warren were out on the stump
Dreaming that they were the one to beat Trump.
Klobachar in a pantsuit, Steyer in a daze,
And even mayor Pete had little hope he could raise.
When out on the Mall, media started to chatter
The people subjected to another half-baked matter!
Away from our coffers, flow lots of cash
Actions in motion that seemed a bit rash.
Prospects were bleak for crest-fallen dopes
But what could bring candidates off of the ropes?
When what from our newsfeed began to appear
Articles of Impeachment and their managers -----!
And driving things forward and making it bleaker
We knew right away, it was the House Speaker.
Solemn and mournful, plodding they came
As she fist-bumped and giggled and called them by name
Now Demings, now Nadler, Lofgren and Jeffries
Garcia and Crow and Schiff are her besties!
Across the great hall, and into the chamber
Clutching the Articles, the fruits of their labor
As pages before that wild hurricane fly
When they met with an obstacle on that Hill so most high.
So straight to the people they made their appeal
With identity politics and entitlements real.
And that was their inkling heard up to the roof
The preening and shrieking and each massive goof.
As I drew back my reason, as spin did abound
To the floor they did come with arguments unsound.
They dressed in dark colors to show they were serious
To placate the Left, since 16 delirious.
A bunch of free stuff in front of US they dangled
Who cares the Constitution lay tattered and mangled?
Her cheeks were quite drawn, she slurred like a drunk
Her droll little mouth spewed hate like a punk
Her eyes had turned black, like a shark on a feed
With smoke and mirrors wielding power and greed.
Their faces were gaunt from too little sleeping,
Outside they laughed, but inside they were weeping.
Their base got a bone, for that was their yen
But all they'd to show was a gold autographed pen.
A twitch of her eye, and a finger to wag
Let us sigh in relief, acquittal's in the bag
She spoke lots of words, and dawdled at work
As 20 slipped away from the hands of the berserk
And wagging that finger in everyone's face
She slunk back to the House, because that was her place.
Because the Senate and McConnell won't play by their rules
If you're trusting in Schumer, you're playing the fool.
And I heard her exclaim as she faded in tears:
Impeachment is forever and we'll get four more years!