Personalities may adjust over a lifetime, but character doesn't. For just one example, my friend's pal was a happy-go-lucky fellow. After he married, he "changed," and it was noticeable. I don't discuss people when they are not in the same room as me, so I bided my time in silent curiosity. One evening I asked about so-and-so as we hadn't seen him in a while. My friend said that "XX" became frightfully unhappy with marital life. His "goober" wife -- who didn't have a sense of humor -- soured his once cheerful outlook on life. The harridan would shush him at parties and warned him not to laugh so loud at social gatherings. Nevertheless, "XX" was still the same hardworking guy at work who made all his promotions on time and helped little old ladies cross the street -- just without the smile.
My friend's cat "changed" over the years. "Ajax" became more grouchy with age as he couldn't clean himself the way he used to because of physical ailments and obesity. "Nothing pleases him anymore!" was a constant refrain in that home. Nevertheless, Ajax didn't scratch or bite anyone or become a destructive nuisance -- the poor cat just purred less. His character didn't change -- just his personality.
Some people's lives are chapters in a book or phases along a journey -- evolution, maturation, and self-awareness is expected.
The saddest people to come across the universe are the ones who hadn't evolved or changed for the better over the decades.
"Oh, I see that after 20 years you're still an immature nitwit in an ill-fitting suit that remains the slowest hand to ever reach for the bill at the end of dinner."
Sigh.
PS: Crabs in a bucket? I remember Colonel Sanders and "chickens in a bucket."
You can tell bigots don't care 2 shits about women because they NEVER talk about danger to trans men in men's sports or in men's locker rooms.