"We believe that basic to governmental integrity are unimpeachable ethical standards and irreproachable personal conduct by all people in government. We shall continue our insistence on honesty as an indispensable requirement of public service. We shall continue to root out corruption whenever and wherever it appears."

Republican Party Platform of 1956

"Tax cuts, along with slashing government services, ending government support for health insurance, burning more coal, and a whole collection of other loony ideas, are now unconsidered articles of faith. Republican Jesus wants a tax cut. The faithful will comply."

Chris Ladd

"Trump's crumbling administration is living proof that the best way to convince voters to elect Democrats is to let Republicans run things for a year. If anyone in Trump's White House is actually getting any work done, they've done a good job hiding it from the public."

Max Burns

"It's been said that laughter is the best medicine"so it's only a matter of time before RFK Jr. bans it."

Andy Borowitz

"Eighty international scientific societies have endorsed the concept of a primarily human-caused climate crisis that is already starting to threaten the health and well-being of millions, and soon to be billions, of people in the next few decades. The total number of scientific organizations that dispute this is zero. If you were watching a basketball game where the score was 80 to 0, with one minute left in the fourth quarter, and you decided to bet your entire nest egg on that losing team, no one would argue that you were not severely delusional. ... Inability to discern reality is the hallmark of schizophrenia."

Dr Brian Moench

"It's been said that laughter is the best medicine so it's only a matter of time before RFK Jr. bans it."

Andy Borowitz

"If rogue federal agents can shoot American citizens dead with total impunity, then it doesn't matter whether state and local authorities, the courts, the media, the political opposition, and a mobilized public object. "ICE > MN," Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth wrote on social media"an assertion of raw force, not constitutional authority. When Trump and his loyalists call protesters terrorists and warn that disobeying orders will get you killed, they strip away any illusion that the federal government respects the lives, let alone the rights, of those who oppose it"potentially half the population or more."

George Packer

"The administration's automatic lies about the killings and slander of the victims are less a cover-up of facts than a display of utter contempt for them. Trump, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, FBI Director Kash Patel, and other top officials seem to invite incredulity as a way to flex their power: We say black is white. Agree or you're a criminal. When Stephen Miller recently claimed that geopolitics is ruled by the "iron laws" of "strength" and "force," he was expressing the administration's approach to domestic governance as well. Those words are iron laws on American streets."

George Packer

"Totalitarianism in power invariably replaces all first-rate talents, regardless of their sympathies, with those crackpots and fools whose lack of intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty."

Hannah Arendt

"Trump is an ignorant man; unlike many other would-be or actual dictators, he does not read books and has difficulty writing more than a few badly spelled sentences on social media."

Eliot A. Cohen

What does Grindr do?

"Trump's crumbling administration is living proof that the best way to convince voters to elect Democrats is to let Republicans run things for a year. If anyone in Trump's White House is actually getting any work done, they've done a good job hiding it from the public."

Max Burns

"The administration's automatic lies about the killings and slander of the victims are less a cover-up of facts than a display of utter contempt for them. Trump, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, FBI Director Kash Patel, and other top officials seem to invite incredulity as a way to flex their power: We say black is white. Agree or you're a criminal. When Stephen Miller recently claimed that geopolitics is ruled by the "iron laws" of "strength" and "force," he was expressing the administration's approach to domestic governance as well. Those words are iron laws on American streets."

George Packer

"In addition to asserting that the British deployed military aircraft in the eighteenth century, Donald Trump has indicated that Andrew Jackson, who died in 1845, was angry about the Civil War, and that Frederick Douglass, who died in 1895, is still alive."

Andy Borowitz

"The entire Trump project - and to a larger extent the MAGA movement"is at its core an exercise in collective delusion. The whole enterprise rests on Americans rejecting the very facts staring them in the face."

Janna Brancolini

"To better understand the president's foreign policy, one must study the behavior of small children. ... Intellectual honesty does not seem to be the hallmark of this administration's foreign policy. A more helpful way of understanding the president's whims is to think of him as a small child who develops an obsessive fixation on a new toy before losing all interest. You can wait him out or try to appease him, but you can't talk him into a rational assessment of cost versus benefit, or assume his stated preference will hold true for very long."

Jonathan Chait

"Totalitarianism in power invariably replaces all first-rate talents, regardless of their sympathies, with those crackpots and fools whose lack of intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty."

Hannah Arendt

"The entire Trump project - and to a larger extent the MAGA movement"is at its core an exercise in collective delusion. The whole enterprise rests on Americans rejecting the very facts staring them in the face."

Janna Brancolini

"Nazi theory indeed specifically denies that such a thing as the truth' exists. There is, for instance, no such thing as Science' ... If the Leader says of such and such an event, It never happened'-well, it never happened. If he says that two and two are five-well, two and two are five. This prospect frightens me much more than bombs."

George Orwell

"In addition to asserting that the British deployed military aircraft in the eighteenth century, Donald Trump has indicated that Andrew Jackson, who died in 1845, was angry about the Civil War, and that Frederick Douglass, who died in 1895, is still alive."

Andy Borowitz

If they were very smart the wouldn't be trumplings.

"In a government of laws, existence of the government will be imperiled if it fails to
observe the law scrupulously . . . If the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds
contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites
anarchy."

Justice Louis Brandeis Olmstead v. United States (1928)

"even the worst possible accident postulated by the AEC [Atomic Energy Commission] would not require evacuation of the borough of Middletown. . . it can be seen that it is unnecessary to have specific evacuation routes identified. . .")

Letter to Middletown borough officials from Metropolitan Edison, owners of the Three Mile Island nuclear power plant, written 5 years before the core melted. Middletown is 3 miles from the reactor.

"In addition to asserting that the British deployed military aircraft in the eighteenth century, Donald Trump has indicated that Andrew Jackson, who died in 1845, was angry about the Civil War, and that Frederick Douglass, who died in 1895, is still alive."

Andy Borowitz

"Totalitarianism in power invariably replaces all first-rate talents, regardless of their sympathies, with those crackpots and fools whose lack of intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty."

Hannah Arendt