"Whew! Makes me glad I don't use Twitter." said the Ostrich, nervously looking for the nearest patch of sand. The first syllable of it's unctuous name was enough warning for me. I had no idea how liberating it was when I wisely got rid of that $%&! cell phone 10-ish years ago. It makes people device-addicted media zombies. Or worst...Influencers.

The Bronze Age called to thank everyone for still fatuously cleaving to it's barbarous old school tribalism. You'd think they'd have learned by now. Us as well, come to think of it.

The Onion's publishers have reportedly stated they will funnel any profits toward paying Jones' $1B+ debt to the Sandyhook families, seeing how Jones was/is unable/unwilling to pony up.

What are the odds he suddenly experiences sudden spontaneous human combustion? His arms are a little too short to be boxing with God.

All this money and chaos for a game most Americans could care less about. I confess I'll watch the woman's national team when the opportunity presents itself, but I'd be hard pressed to name one current player on the men's.

Hey Shrimpy...have you tried NOT urinating in your Cheerios?

There are none so blind as those who refuse to see.

I remember how "wrestlers" on television in the old days would hide something sharp in their tape wrist wrappings and cut themselves to heighten the drama for the rubes at home that truly believed pro wrestling was real. It's the same today with those that believe MAGA is real. My tinfoil hat theory is that his ear was nicked by a piece of the prompter when it was hit. That, and the sketchy, rather miraculous way his ear shows no scaring now puts it in the realm of possibilities that this was indeed staged, but the shooter evidently changed the script.

The whole "Farm-to-Table" economic model isn't all that robust to withstand hugely reduced raw food stocks. I remember the empty shelves during Covid. So should you. I highly recommend we 5150 Donny Doody-Diaper now before he kills us all.

There are times lately where a reasonably close analogy for the daily antics of Trump's clown show can be encapsulated by watching BeamNG videos. On a loop...24/7, day after day.

Anyone else remember the gas companies' 3-card monte in LA back in '74? They let high-volume stations run low, while hiding gas in the tanks of closed or lower-volume stations, creating a false sense that the "shortage was real, blowing up demand and forever obscenely driving up it's cost per gallon.

20-some years ago I learned from a neighbor's kid who worked at Mickey Deez after graduation that every item on their breakfast menu was processed...including their infamous crotch-burning coffee. These days, I've begun to notice how bland fast food and supermarket frozen entries has increasingly become, almost as if they are seeing how much profit they can squeeze from every point of sale by reducing either the size and/or the amount of ALL key ingredients.

Hmm...jokes have to contain some smidge of actual humor Ringy-Dinger. Fart farmer evidently belives resorting to Jr high knee-jerk aspersions on one's suspected orientation makes his jokes zing at someone' undeserved expense.

Is Vegas giving odds on the prospect of a "regime change" in Cuba? When those missing 3 million Epstein docs inevitably see the light of day, I have no doubt there will be USMC boots wading ashore by the next high tide. What real value does a obvious distraction have if doesn't actually distract?

Next he'll claim it was ANTIFA! It's like we've given our car keys to the most drunken man at the bar.

Bondi the Harridan? Not to be rudely or unnecessarily judgemental, but my considerable time on this planet has taught me at least to recognize a dud in the sack when I see one.

At some point even the dullest knives in the drawer will realize the actual divide in this troubled country is not left/right, or blue/red...our politics are built entirely on the purposely engineered chasm between the obscenely rich and the debt-shackled poor vainly chasing some phantom semblance of what used to pass as "the American Dream." That trickle-down Reagan & his Big Oil buddies greased the hoi paloi with 45 years ago wasn't the wage-earner cornucopia they promised, but a long-game scheme to shift the majotity of our tax burden--in perpetuity--onto those who could least afford it.

The story making the rounds currently is our allegedly adulterous former DOJ honcho didn't fire that Coast Guard pilot for her precious lost blanket, but for inadvertently spotting a couple sex toys in her open Go-Bag on his way to the cockpit. I confess I have a modicum of doubt as to this yarn's veracity, but it sure does sound on-brand.