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Does the Navy still operate garbage-scows...
OCU
#60 | Posted by OCUser

[Briefing room]

(Ten men are lined up. Chekov has a nice bruise on his cheek.)
KIRK: I want to know who started it. I'm waiting. Freeman, who started the fight?
FREEMAN: I don't know, sir.
KIRK: All right. Chekov. I know you. You started it, didn't you?
CHEKOV: No, sir, I didn't.
KIRK: Who did?
CHEKOV: I don't know, sir.
KIRK: I don't know, sir. I want to know who threw the first punch. All right. You're all confined to quarters until I find out who started it. Dismissed. (the men file out) Scotty, not you. You were supposed to prevent trouble, Mister Scott.
SCOTT: Aye, Captain.
KIRK: Who threw the first punch, Scotty?
SCOTT: Um.
KIRK: Mister Scott?
SCOTT: I did, Captain.
KIRK: You did, Mister Scott? What caused it, Scotty?
SCOTT: They insulted us, sir.
KIRK: Must have been some insult.
SCOTT: Aye, it was.
KIRK: You threw the first punch.
SCOTT: Aye. Chekov wanted to, but I held him back.
KIRK: You held? Why did Chekov want to start a fight?
SCOTT: Well, the Klingon, sir. Is this off the record?
KIRK: No, this is not off the record.
SCOTT: Well, Captain, the Klingons called you, uh a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood.
KIRK: Is that all?
SCOTT: No, sir. They also compared you with a Denebian slime devil.
KIRK: I see.
SCOTT: And then they said you
KIRK: I get the picture, Scotty.
SCOTT: Yes, sir.
KIRK: After they said all this, that's when you hit the Klingons?
SCOTT: No, sir.
KIRK: No?
SCOTT: No, I didn't. You told us to avoid trouble.
KIRK: Oh, yes.
SCOTT: And I didn't see that it was worth fighting about. After all, we're big enough to take a few insults. Aren't we?
KIRK: What was it they said that started the fight?
SCOTT: They called the Enterprise a garbage scow, sir.
KIRK: I see. And that's when you hit the Klingons?
SCOTT: Yes, sir.
KIRK: You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise, not because they
SCOTT: Well, sir, this was a matter of pride.
KIRK: All right, Scotty. Dismissed. Scotty, you're restricted to quarters until further notice.
SCOTT: (big grin) Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. That'll give me a chance to catch up on my technical journals.

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