KYIV (The Borowitz Report)"Giving helpful advice ahead of peace talks in Alaska, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy suggested on Monday that Donald J. Trump offer Vladimir Putin "full sovereignty" over the state of Florida. "If you are considering some kind of land swap' for peace, Florida should be on the table," Zelenskyy said. "With Florida, you have cards." Explaining his rationale for a Russian annexation of the Sunshine State, Zelenskyy said, "There are already so many Russian-speaking people there, especially the oligarchs and criminals around Mar-a-Lago." Speaking from the Kremlin, Putin said he would "consider" an offer of Florida, but only if it did not include ownership of Ron DeSantis.
Drudge Retort Headlines
Trump to Sign Unconstitutional EO to Mandate Voter ID (37 comments)
China Takes Advantage of Trump Turmoil (29 comments)
Donald Trump is a Communist (25 comments)
Court: National Guard Police Actions in California Illegal (20 comments)
Trump Called Modi to Seek Nobel Endorsement (15 comments)
9 Former CDC Directors Call RFK Jr. 'Dangerous' (14 comments)
Black Women Hit Hardest by Trump's Work Force Cuts (13 comments)
Trump Won't Follow Through on Threats to Russia (13 comments)
Crime Festers in Republican States (13 comments)
European Leader Calls Trump a 'Russian Asset' (13 comments)