Zelenskyy Suggests Trump Give Florida to Russia

Monday, August 11, 2025

KYIV (The Borowitz Report)"Giving helpful advice ahead of peace talks in Alaska, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy suggested on Monday that Donald J. Trump offer Vladimir Putin "full sovereignty" over the state of Florida. "If you are considering some kind of land swap' for peace, Florida should be on the table," Zelenskyy said. "With Florida, you have cards." Explaining his rationale for a Russian annexation of the Sunshine State, Zelenskyy said, "There are already so many Russian-speaking people there, especially the oligarchs and criminals around Mar-a-Lago." Speaking from the Kremlin, Putin said he would "consider" an offer of Florida, but only if it did not include ownership of Ron DeSantis.

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Funny stuff.

"There are already so many Russian-speaking people there, especially the oligarchs and criminals around Mar-a-Lago."

Zelenskyy seems knowledgeable about the part where Epstein showed Trump around the Mar a Lardo property he was buying. He wanted Trump's opinion on where to put a new pool, I think it was.

But then Trump went behind his best friend's back and put in an offer of $40 million. Epstein knew Trump didn't have the $40 mil, and also knew the Russian Oligarch that Trump got that money from... and then sold it the same Oligarch 2 years later for $90 mil.

Which was a classic money laundering deal that Epstein gave Russian Oligarchs and others lessons on how to execute.

So then Trump dropped a dime on Epstein's pedo bidness before Epstein could turn him in for money laundering.... according to biographer Michael Wolff.

#1 | Posted by Corky at 2025-08-11 03:34 PM | Reply