A bit of editing (and white wine) improved my initial re-working of America's Pledge of Allegiance as we get ready to honor Kim Jong-Trumpf's birthday, Flag Day, and the US Army next month:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Oligarchic States of America and to the Kleptocracy and Hypocrisy for which it stands, one nation under an invisible and intolerant Judeo-Christian God, with liberty for white men and injustice for the rest of us."