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This week on the Late-Stage-Capitalism Comedy Review, Texas Republicans looked at a man indicted for securities fraud, impeached by his own party, investigated by the FBI, publicly rebuked by his mistreated wife, tied to corruption scandals, whistleblower scandals, election denial scandals, and said: "Finally - someone with traditional values."

Ken Paxton just won the Republican Senate nomination in Texas, because in modern American politics, indictments are basically Pokemon cards for MAGA officials.

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He's been under felony indictment since 2015, as his legal strategy appears to be avoiding accountability until the judge dies of old age.

He was impeached by his own Republican Party for corruption and abuse of power. Not Democrats; Republicans - in Texas. Do you know how corrupt you have to look for Texas Republicans to say, "Now hold on there, partner"?

Paxton beat incumbent groveler John Cornyn by 28 points, which in Texas qualifies as a public execution. Cornyn's just a morally bankrupt neocon; so imagine the excitement of MAGA purebloods who got to cast a vote for a racist felon who might hate women more than their Supreme Leader.

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Who do you want to see elected US Senator in Texas in 2026?

or ? ? ? ?

I'll take the guy on the left ... absolutely

How about you?