Teens Who Beat Up DOGE-Bag ‘Big Balls’ Free for Now | Drudge Retort

Friday, September 05, 2025

Teens Who Beat Up DOGE-Bag ‘Big Balls’ Free for Now

The two teens arrested in an attempted carjacking that left former DOGE-bag Edward Coristine (AKA "Big Balls") beaten to a pulp in Washington DC, have now been slapped with assault and robbery charges. Their confrontation with Edward Coristine served as the excuse for Dummkopf Trumpf's fascist occupation of the nation's capital. The judge ordered the female (15) to be released from a youth gulag and into the custody of her caretakers on a strict 24-hour curfew. The male (15) is already at home with his parents after being released. The suspects have not been identified because of their age.

No doubt the incompetent sot AUSA Jeanine "Hic!" Pirro would seek the death penalty for the two juveniles if she could.

"We just almost lost a young man, beautiful handsome guy that got the hell knocked out of him," the pedophilic President bellyached.

Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 03:04 PM | 31 COMMENTS | permalink

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No GoFundMe webpage has yet been located to pay for the defendant's legal fees. Who knows how much data and money "Big Balls" Edward Coristine pilfered from the American taxpayer while cutting critical jobs at NWS, DoE, NHS, etc? The damage DOGE to the US is almost incalculable. Now this parasite is enjoying a handsome GG-15 salary at the SSA. If we're all lucky, this sinister Felon Musk DOGE-bag will get beat up every year or two. Wouldn't that make for pleasant news?

https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2025/08/076521504d14e9d2_c8ab9b.jpg?quality=75&strip=all

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

DOGE --- GOT THE ---- BEAT OUT HIM

#1 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-09-05 03:17 PM

Yes, I too was heartbroken to read this snot-nosed elitist blood-sucker got tuned up by elements from the less privileged strata.

I guess "Big Balls" was trying to impress his date with his wads of money, fancy car, and formidable fighting skills: media.istockphoto.com

#2 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-09-05 03:45 PM

America is crazy. Criminals roam the streets, CornHolio cheers.

Insane.

#3 | Posted by oneironaut at 2025-09-05 08:47 PM

IAMRUNT cheers for the decomposing------------------- who killed 1.2 million Americans.

#4 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2025-09-05 09:25 PM

Dammit. The one rule of attacking POS members of the wanna be ruling elite.

DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU SEE BRAINS!

Also, take pictures.

I don't see brain matter - failed attempt.

Do better.

:)

#5 | Posted by billy_boy at 2025-09-05 10:09 PM

You people are disgusting.

#6 | Posted by BellRinger at 2025-09-06 12:09 PM

How many people has this shttheap killed with his role in DOGE? His destruction of USAID? Damage to payment systems? He's a known cybercriminal. One does have to wonder why he decided to remain in a "hellhole" for 2 months after he quit DOGE. Did he not understand what Trump said all about DC?

Seems the universe is balancing things out.
Who am I to judge?

#7 | Posted by YAV at 2025-09-06 12:22 PM

America is crazy. Criminals roam the streets, CornHolio cheers.

Indeed. They roam the internets too! They are even in the White House and Congress. And OneNut cheers and the Chinese and the Russians and the North Koreans are popping them champagne corks.

#8 | Posted by donnerboy at 2025-09-06 12:35 PM

America is crazy. Criminals roam the streets, Trump and his admin reward traitors and insurrectionists, hiring them and even giving a traitor like Ashli Bulliteater a military honors funeral.

#9 | Posted by YAV at 2025-09-06 01:41 PM

America is crazy. Criminals roam the streets

They made a movie about it.

It's called, West Side Story.

You seem like you'd want to be a Jet, but don't realize you're a Shark.

#10 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-09-06 02:06 PM

What's unfortunate is no one is questioning this staged incident with Edward Coristine.

Because it gave Trump what he needed, complete control over DC.

#11 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-09-06 02:19 PM

"Criminals roam the streets"

How many were personally pardoned by Trump?

#12 | Posted by snoofy at 2025-09-06 02:22 PM

The carnage DOGE-bag Edward Coristine and his accomplices have wreaked on the US is nearly incalculable. He is an enemy of the American people And no one but Felon Musk and this hacker knows how much data was pilfered from US databases. Pardon my lack of sympathy and non-Shakespearean prose, but F*** EDWARD CORISTINE! Americans should be treated to an annual beating of this destructive snot-nosed cyber-hacking oligarch wannabe.

Initial DOGE Damage Assessments to the US: Link One; Link Two; Link Three.

#13 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-09-06 02:57 PM

The only good MAGAT is a dead curb-stomped MAGAT

#14 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-09-06 03:56 PM

#11: Hi Clownshack: Interesting theory about this being a mini-"Gulf of Tonkin" resolution in order to occupy Washington.

Dummkopf Trumpf: "You get beat up for me in Washington, I'll give you the Medal of Freedom."

DOGe-bag Edward Coristine: "Sounds good!"

web.archive.org

If "Big Balls" lost some teeth in the melee or sustained broken ribs, that may weaken your theory. Too bad we can't see the MPD arrest reports for the juvenile suspects or the medical treatment records for this dirtbag DOGER.

Maybe our good friends at Anonymous could help us out. Earlie this year this collective of cyber-volunteers had threatened Felon Musk with a plague of IT problems, hacks, and exposures.

#15 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-09-06 04:27 PM

Clownshack: Interesting theory

"Big Balls" just happened to be out at 3am when a group of hoodlums ran up to car jack him. He pushed his girlfriend in the car - saving her from injury - and took on the attackers all by himself, so heroic!

Now we're spending millions of taxpayer dollars for the national guard to pick up trash around national monuments.

#16 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-09-06 07:19 PM

A. "Big balls" was looking for BBC
B. When he didn't pay up, he got what he desero
C. PEDO DONNIE RAPED LITTLE GIRLS

#17 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-09-06 07:51 PM

I would like to know how much time passed between the alleged attack and when this photograph of the "bloodied" Edward Coristine was taken. The color of the blood is still fairly bright, meaning this was from an artery and didn't have time to turn rust color with oxidation. The subject's hair is not mussed up at all and there appears to be no swelling to his nose or eyes. There are no wounds or lacerations visible on the subjects' thorax, so why is the dark shirt off? The subject appears to have sustained facial injuries, but he is not stopping any bleeding from his mouth or nose, rather his head is facing down in the wrong direction and his hands are on his thighs. In the background is a prop: The logo "American" is on the side of a car.

Corky boxed and his blood-splatter analysis of the subject in the photograph may offer us some more information.

#18 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-09-06 10:50 PM

It looks staged to me!

Oddly enough, I also fought under the moniker, "Big Balls".

#19 | Posted by Corky at 2025-09-06 11:18 PM

#19: Hi Corky: I figured you as a pugilist might have some insight on the imagery. Thanks. Clownshack made me think twice about this incident.

If that night DOGe-bag Edward Coristine was indeed looking for "BBC" as LegallyYourDead put it, perhaps Edward Coristine should have flown out west to meet you, Mr. "Big Balls."

#20 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-09-06 11:51 PM

He was wearing a short skirt and therefore got what he deserved - Lefties

#21 | Posted by BellRinger at 2025-09-08 12:06 AM

He was wearing a short skirt and therefore got what he deserved - Lefties
#21 | POSTED BY BULLBRINGER

You believe "Big Balls" was transgender?

#22 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-09-08 01:33 AM

"Big Balls" was assaulted for being a good samaritan.

Some lefties cheer it on, like you.

It's repugnant.

#23 | Posted by BellRinger at 2025-09-08 02:06 AM

"Big Balls" was assaulted for being a good samaritan.

He was. I'm not sure how, but there is no doubt.

#24 | Posted by REDIAL at 2025-09-08 02:11 AM

Hmmmm...okay

#25 | Posted by BellRinger at 2025-09-08 02:24 AM

"Big Balls" was assaulted for being a good samaritan.

So it switched from car jacking to targeted attack?

"Look guys! A Good Samaritan. Let's get him!"

That's what you picture happened?

#26 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-09-08 03:32 AM

He was cruising around DC at 3am. Probably looking for drugs and/or ass.

"Good Samaritan" LOL

#27 | Posted by Alexandrite at 2025-09-08 04:14 AM

I wonder if former WWE CEO, now Secretary of Education, junta member Linda McMahon lives near Dupont Circle:

#28 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-09-08 04:59 AM

That "good samaritan" twist is hilarious!

#29 | Posted by YAV at 2025-09-08 09:23 AM

That "good samaritan" twist is hilarious!

It's difficult to see the connection. Perhaps Dinger can explain in better detail.

#30 | Posted by REDIAL at 2025-09-08 11:50 AM

He was wearing a short skirt and therefore got what he deserved - Lefties
#21 | Posted by BellRinger

He got to use the bathroom?

#31 | Posted by snoofy at 2025-09-08 11:51 AM

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