With about 77 hours left before the first election polls close (Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 7:00pm Eastern Time), what do you think will happen that night? If you didn't take our reader survey yesterday, please do it today. We would like to get a good idea of who our 65,000+ readers are and also see if they can call the swing states and Senate elections better than the pollsters. We will try to post the results Tuesday, so you need to "vote" today. As usual, thanks for stopping by and do tell your friends about the site.
I was asked to write a column that would be published in the event of a Trump victory next week. The assignment required me to enter that dark space and imagine what it meant. This is some of what I imagined I might have to write:
The New York Times published an op-ed on the polls yesterday jointly authored by Democratic pollster Celinda Lake and Republican pollster Amanda Iovino. Their main observation is expressed in this one bar graph...
We have unhappy news: Jeff Bezos thinks you are an idiot. Don't feel too bad, though, because he thinks we are idiots, too. Facing a rebellion from the staff of The Washington Post, not to mention an exodus of subscribers, he published an op-ed yesterday explaining why he spiked the paper's endorsement of Kamala Harris. In short, it was about integrity: read more
Barbara Pierce Bush tells PEOPLE she's "hopeful" that voters will back Harris on Nov. 5 to "move our country forward and protect women's rights" read more
#18 | Posted by Corky at 2024-11-02 05:58 PM | Reply | Flag: Amazingly Newsworthy
Thank you for posting that, Corky.
"America Firsters..." -
#44 | Posted by Corky
I tend to think of them as American Fisters.
The logical secession from being tea -------.
A quick glance through any given Nooner should suffice for context.
"If it's So Great why do so many people say it's Not?"
#3 | Posted by Effeteposer
Perhaps it will always be a mystery to you, Effeteposer.
I cannot imagine the mental pain it doesn't cause you.
#12 | Posted by NOTGOINGBACK
I've added this great comment of yours to this thread: About 77 hours left: What's your prediction?
A new addition:
Just three days until Harris wipes the floors with the traitor. Will be a LANDSLIDE ... TONS of real republicans are voting for her, DEM enthusiasm is off the charts, higher than 2008. His rallies lately have been scattered, sometimes 1/3 empty. Also, she has so many endorsements while he has few very small endowments. The writing has been on the wall for three months and no woman, no real woman, will vote for a rapist nor a man who took their rights away. They will not vote for a man who has zero empathy. A man who lies with every breath. A man who is trying to destroy the USA from within. It's easy math here. How the toxic masculinity bros even think sir Cheeto has a chance is beyond me, but I am educated and my specialty is MATH. Three days to the massive blue tsunami.
#12 | Posted by NOTGOINGBACK at 2024-11-02 05:45 PM
A new entry:
My prediction?About 77 hours left: What's your prediction?
A -------- of dramaqueens are going to volunteer to make asses out of themselves on the internet.
that's my prediction.
#7 | Posted by eberly at 2024-11-02 03:49 PM
"It is captured in US code. Its literally the law of the land." -
#139 | Posted by madbomber
Yeah?
So's this:
Title 21, Part 139, of the Code of Federal Regulations sets rigid standards for the specifications of noodles " though on just four varieties.Did you even go to college, bro?
It requires macaroni to be tube-shaped and have a diameter between 0.11 and 0.27 inches.
Spaghetti must be tube- or cord-shaped and have a diameter between 0.06 and 0.11 inches, while vermicelli must be cord-shaped with a diameter less than 0.06 inches.
As for egg noodles, they simply must be ribbon-shaped.
"It is captured in US code. Its literally the law of the land." -
#139 | Posted by madbomber
Yeah?
So's this:
Statute 18 U.S.C. 336 makes it a federal crime to issue "any note, check, memorandum, token, or other obligation for a less sum than $1" in lieu of money.Did you even go to college, bro?
"It is captured in US code. Its literally the law of the land." -
#139 | Posted by madbomber
Yeah?
So's this:
If you've noticed a curious lack of smack talk on your merlot, there's a reason. It's a federal misdemeanor.Did you even go to college, bro?
Statute 27 C.F.R. 4.39(a)(2) forbids vino labels that are "disparaging of a competitor's products."
Wine makers are also forbidden from slapping their bottles with obscene material, and for making certain claims, such as that it will get you drunk or that it has curative properties.
"It is captured in US code. Its literally the law of the land." -
#139 | Posted by madbomber
Yeah?
So's this:
Because watery ketchup isn't really ketchup at all, the government regulates how thick the sauce must be.Did you even go to college, bro?
The flow rate is measured by an instrument called a Bostwick consistometer. Basically, the ketchup is allowed to flow down a trough and an observer measures how far it can travel in 30 seconds. Any farther than 14 centimeters and it ain't ketchup.
Ketchup that's too runny must be slapped with a conspicuous "substandard" in 12- or 14-point type, according to the Feds.
And the government even regulates how to spell ketchup. Turns out there are just three permissible spellings: Ketchup (definitely!), Catsup (Ok, sure) and Catchup (sorry, wut?).
"It is captured in US code. Its literally the law of the land." -
#139 | Posted by madbomber
Yeah?
So's this:
Have you ever clogged a toilet in a national forest? That could get you six months in federal prison. Written a letter to a pirate? You might be looking at three years in the slammer. Leaving the country with too many nickels, drinking a beer on a bicycle in a national park, or importing a pregnant polar bear are all very real crimes, and this riotously funny, ridiculously entertaining, and fully illustrated book shows how just about anyone can become"or may already be"a federal criminal.Did you even go to college, bro?
Ann Seltzer on MSNBC right now...