Pole Vaulter’s Massive Penis Dashes Olympic Dreams

Saturday, August 03, 2024

You know that thing that happens all the time, where your penis is just so big it prevents you from winning a medal at the Olympics? I know, right? Same. And that's what happened to our brother, French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati on Saturday at the Paris Games.

Posted by censored at 10:27 PM | 12 COMMENTS | permalink

Anthony Ammirati failed the bar and the commentators are clearly having a hard time acknowledging what happened HELP I'M DYING pic.twitter.com/5hOHttVA5g
" Gladys Wotching (@Glodyswotcher) August 3, 2024

Comments

If I had a nickel for every time that happened to me ... I would not have a nickel. :(

#1 | Posted by censored at 2024-08-03 10:28 PM

Jeff is busy inspecting his genitalia

#2 | Posted by truthhurts at 2024-08-03 10:35 PM

A bit more detail, maybe? packaged-media.redd.it
Perhaps next time he needs to "secure the package"?

#3 | Posted by YAV at 2024-08-03 11:01 PM

No cup or strap.

#4 | Posted by fresno500 at 2024-08-03 11:06 PM

#2 He will need a high powered microscope to see it.

#5 | Posted by LauraMohr at 2024-08-03 11:07 PM

From the cited article...

... The 21-year-old was attempting to clear a 5.70m bar when God got in the way.

The pole vaulter appeared to have propelled past the height of the bar, but when he contorted his body around, he didn't, apparently, give enough clearance for his, um, entire member to clear it entirely.

A slow-motion video that, if we're being honest, deserves Oscar consideration for best short film, reveals that, as Ammirati was falling back to the ground, the bulge in his spandex caught the bar. (If I had a nickel, amiright?) ...

There's a link to that slow motion video in the cited article.

#6 | Posted by LampLighter at 2024-08-03 11:25 PM

Oh well, the IOC seems to have claimed rights to that video, and has banned its showing.

#7 | Posted by LampLighter at 2024-08-03 11:26 PM

So at the French Olympics his weiner got in the way? Wee wee.

#8 | Posted by Tor at 2024-08-03 11:52 PM

Shame about the medal, but I sense HUGE endorsement deals in his future. Involving giant pay packages, if you will.

#9 | Posted by censored at 2024-08-04 07:35 AM

This loss could have been embarrassing. Instead, to be honest, it's impressive.

#10 | Posted by YAV at 2024-08-04 07:55 AM

His consolation prize being a flurry of phone #s in the Olympic Village.

#11 | Posted by morris at 2024-08-04 09:55 PM