FEMA Official Claims He Teleported to a Waffle House

Friday, March 20, 2026

A far-right conspiracy theorist turned high-ranking official at the US Federal Emergency Management Agency (Fema) claims to have once teleported to a Waffle House.

Posted by reinheitsgebot at 09:32 PM | 17 COMMENTS | permalink

Far-right activist turned high-ranking FEMA official Gregg Phillips has a problem. Sometimes he finds himself "teleporting" into ditches, or even into a Waffle House.

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-- Rolling Stone (@rollingstone.com) Mar 20, 2026 at 1:20 PM

Comments

He's just trying to get a promotion!

#1 | Posted by Corky at 2026-03-20 09:14 PM

Dude was just blackout drunk.

#2 | Posted by horstngraben at 2026-03-20 10:29 PM

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."
Kurt Vonnegut

#3 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-03-21 07:02 AM

One wonders if one's buddy should apply for a job with the Trump conspiracy, goodness knows if crazy is a requirement to work at FEMA, my buddy is of superior quality. There are people in this country who really and truly believe that space aliens are amongst us and are guiding us along...though considering the insanity of the times, perhaps they just said "to hell with it" and left until we extinguish ourselves as a species.

#4 | Posted by Hughmass at 2026-03-21 07:08 AM

If you are insane, stupid, corrupt or otherwise unqualified to work for the federal government, you are automatically qualified to work for the Trump administration.

#5 | Posted by cbob at 2026-03-21 07:10 AM

Headline should read: "One of tFEMA officials fits in perfectly with the rest of the Trump administration." of thumb:If you ain't crazy then why are you here?"
'

#6 | Posted by danni at 2026-03-21 09:09 AM

"He was looking for the place called Lee Ho -----
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein"

#7 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-03-21 09:14 AM

Angling for that SecDef gig.

#8 | Posted by snoofy at 2026-03-21 11:08 AM

Dude was just blackout drunk.
#2 | POSTED BY HORSTNGRABEN

I hear that's the best way to get to a Waffle House.

The real question is, how many fights broke out while he was there and which ones did he participate in?

#9 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-03-21 11:14 AM

Yall think it's funny but it could happen to you someday.

I was minding my own business in this bar with some friends and I suddenly found myself nekked in bed with this fat chick.

Very strange.

#10 | Posted by donnerboy at 2026-03-21 11:58 AM

Where the fkkk is Heliumrat when you need him?

#11 | Posted by lfthndthrds at 2026-03-21 01:36 PM

"Totalitarianism in power invariably replaces all first-rate talents, regardless of their sympathies, with those crackpots and fools whose lack of intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty."

Hannah Arendt

#12 | Posted by SomebodyElse at 2026-03-21 03:36 PM

The head of FEMA is delusional. Wonderful.

#13 | Posted by Alexandrite at 2026-03-21 04:14 PM

If you are insane, stupid, corrupt or otherwise unqualified to work for the federal government, you are automatically qualified to work for the Trump administration.

#5 | Posted by cbob

You left out White and Male.

#14 | Posted by morris at 2026-03-21 04:23 PM

Just imagine getting roofied and winding up in a Waffle House.

#15 | Posted by morris at 2026-03-21 04:25 PM

If it was Denny's, I'd be worried.

#16 | Posted by Dbt2 at 2026-03-21 07:24 PM

Heck, if I could teleport myself, I'd pick a lot classier place than a Waffle House...

OCU

#17 | Posted by OCUser at 2026-03-22 06:51 PM

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