Trump Will Participate in a Marathon Bible Reading

Sunday, April 19, 2026

Event organizers told The New York Times that Trump recorded his segment of the reading from the Oval Office.

Posted by reinheitsgebot at 08:32 AM | 17 COMMENTS | permalink

Republicans heading into the midterms: We should nearly double the military budget in just 2 years because Trump has a lot of wars happening, the Pope doesn't know anything about the Bible, and J6ers are heroes who deserve compensation from US taxpayers.

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-- Ron Filipkowski (@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social) Apr 16, 2026 at 11:00 AM

Comments

Obligatory.

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#1 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2026-04-18 02:27 PM

No he won't. HE CAN'T READ.

#2 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-04-18 07:23 PM

Oh, and that "under God" --------? IT WAS PUT IN THE 1950's.

#3 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-04-18 07:24 PM

Red Scare, Gay Panic.
Same fascists doing this stuff.
MAGA is still doing it today.

#4 | Posted by snoofy at 2026-04-18 07:46 PM

Will they be reading from over-priced Chinese-made bible with Trump's name on the front?

Will BJ tell Donald to, 'stay in his lane'.

These and other searing questions will be answered in the next Episode of, Pope Trump Rides Again!

#5 | Posted by Corky at 2026-04-18 07:59 PM

...Trump recorded his segment...

Of course he did, he's barely literate. I'm guessing 20 takes and lots of editing.

#6 | Posted by TFDNihilist at 2026-04-18 08:21 PM

"Trump recorded his segment"

Ha! What a grift. If they sell a DVD for $100 BillJohnson will buy it.

I suppose there's nothing stopping me from marketing a DVD with Trump's pre-recorded message on it. I think a President's performances are public domain, yes?

#7 | Posted by snoofy at 2026-04-18 08:28 PM

Idiot chreestians will lap it up.

#8 | Posted by jpw at 2026-04-18 11:17 PM

And wouldn't you just know it? The Book of Marathon is one of my favoritest Bible book books? Maybe the bookiest. Who knows? Divine intervention? That's for you to find out and Me to know.
~ MAGA Jesus

#9 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-04-19 06:42 AM

From the Samuel L. Jackson Standard Version, no doubt.

#10 | Posted by anton at 2026-04-19 08:51 AM

Der Dotards favorite reading: Chapter 11 ...

#11 | Posted by catdog at 2026-04-19 10:50 AM

What are the odds he suddenly experiences sudden spontaneous human combustion? His arms are a little too short to be boxing with God.

#12 | Posted by dutch46 at 2026-04-20 03:56 AM

Reading The Marathhon Bible and thereby giving it My Blessing ... I mean, wow, just BOW WOW! Anyhoo, that ancient Hebarian who wrote must've been quite a babe. Phe ... idiipi ... pheidippidoodleedoo ... Pheidippides, some call her but Jeffrey had her number. What a world, eh? War lost but Epstein Coverup holding. Praise be, Daddy!
~ MAGAJesus

#13 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-04-20 04:41 AM

lol... ff... just shows his desperation...

#14 | Posted by RightisTrite at 2026-04-20 09:18 AM

Trump recorded his segment

You mean sleepy Don won't be there live for the entire thing?

Too much golf to be played I guess.

#15 | Posted by Nixon at 2026-04-21 07:53 AM

MAGAJesus very busy guy: Two healings, a resurrection, and a box of Big Macs await.

#16 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-04-21 07:56 AM

Yeah well, if there really were a great and powerful Oz...sorry, God, I would look for a pile of dust where once Trump stood, about five minutes after he starts repeating "holy words".

#17 | Posted by Hughmass at 2026-04-21 08:43 AM

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