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...This is not a drill. Screwworms are possibly the most aptly named parasites imaginable, both literally and figuratively. Screwworms -- technically, New World Screwworms -- are flies that lay eggs on the mucous membranes, orifices, and wounds of warm-blooded animals. Wounds are the most common sites, and even a ----- as small as a tick bite can be an invitation for the savage insects.

Once beckoned, females lay up to 400 eggs at a time. Within about a day, ravenous flesh-eating larvae erupt, which both look and act like literal screws. They viciously and relentlessly bore and twist into their victim, feasting on the living flesh for about seven days. The result is a gaping ulcer writhing with maggots, which attracts yet more adult female screwworms that can lay hundreds more eggs, deepening the putrid, festering lesion. The infection, called myiasis, is intensely painful and life-threatening. Anyone who falls victim to screwworms is figuratively"well, you know.