Monday, February 24, 2025

"Big Balls" Is the Grandson of a KGB Agent

Among the cadre of DOGE engineers now rooting through the guts of the administrative state, few have attracted more curiosity than Edward "Big Balls" Coristine, a 19-year-old coder who interned for three months for Neuralink, Elon Musk's brain implant company. Coristine has a brief but colorful history that includes being fired from Path Networks, a cybersecurity company, for giving company documents to a competitor. He apparently palled around with a criminal hacking group called The Com and, according to a Telegram account associated with him, had solicited hacking services online. In 2021, he founded a company called Tesla.Sexy LLC that, according to Wired, "controls dozens of web domains, including at least two Russian-registered domains. One of those domains, which is still active, offers a service called Helfie, which is an AI bot for Discord servers targeting the Russian market."

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There's one aspect of Coristine's background that has escaped public notice: his grandfather, Valery Martynov, was a KGB spy who played an intriguing role in a sprawling 1980s espionage drama.

Comments

Well at least he wasn't a slave owner, like every white American.

#1 | Posted by oneironaut at 2025-02-24 12:03 PM

IAMRUNT's handle is "tiny eunuch."

#2 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2025-02-24 12:05 PM

#1

The Search for Relevance Continues.

#3 | Posted by Corky at 2025-02-24 01:59 PM

I wonder what back-doors into Federal computers, and for the benefit of what entities, he may be leaving behind?


#4 | Posted by LampLighter at 2025-02-24 03:20 PM

Somehow Musk hiring the grandson of a member of the KGB, who has been fired for leaking information from companies he's worked at to their competitors, isn't at all surprising and I doubt a single Musk/Trump support will object.

1MuskCuck has already weighed in to call Americans slave owners as justification for Edward Coristine having access to the personal information of every American and access to all the servers at the federal government.

#5 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-02-24 03:56 PM

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