Raccoon Breaks Into Liquor Store, Gets Drunk, Passes Out | Drudge Retort

Wednesday, December 03, 2025

Raccoon Breaks Into Liquor Store, Gets Drunk, Passes Out

Animal control officers in Virginia responded to an unusual call this weekend after a raccoon broke into a liquor store, ransacked several shelves, and passed out in the bathroom.

Posted by censored at 10:30 PM | 16 COMMENTS | permalink

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Raccoon breaks into liquor store, proceeds to get black-out drunk, texts ex promising to be better this time.
Who among us hasn't?
www.bbc.com/news/article ... [image or embed]
" Visible Cricket ... ' (@visiblecricket.bsky.social) December 3, 2025 at 5:17 AM

Comments

Mistakes were made.

#1 | Posted by censored at 2025-12-03 08:28 AM

Did he have Gideon's Bible with him?

#2 | Posted by Corky at 2025-12-03 09:31 AM

The perfect spirit animal doesn't exi....

#3 | Posted by Nixon at 2025-12-03 10:38 AM

Thats my County

#4 | Posted by HanoverFist at 2025-12-03 12:41 PM

Trash Pandas will replace dogs and cats within 25 years. Mark My Word!

#5 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-12-03 06:49 PM

Trash Pandas will replace dogs and cats within 25 years. Mark My Word!

#5 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-12-03 06:49 PM | Reply | Flag: Leave My Cats Alone!

#6 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-12-03 07:06 PM

You know what cats are good for, right?

#7 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-12-03 09:11 PM

You know what cats are good for, right?

#7 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-12-03 09:11 PM | Reply | Flag: "Take that!"

#8 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-12-03 11:05 PM

Trash Pandas will replace dogs and cats within 25 years. Mark My Word!
#5 | Posted by LegallyYourDead

Not if they keep stealing our booze!

Raccoon opens bottle
www.gettyimages.com

#9 | Posted by censored at 2025-12-04 09:20 AM

broke into a liquor store, ransacked several shelves, and passed out in the bathroom.

Sounds like Hegseth.

#10 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2025-12-04 01:01 PM

In a raccoon costume on his way home from a party...

#11 | Posted by Yodagirl at 2025-12-04 03:12 PM

Was it really a raccoon, or was it kamala dressed in a furry costume ; )

#12 | Posted by MSgt at 2025-12-04 04:18 PM

While a break-in of a business establishment was not involved.

I will say, back in to day (a half decade ago?), yeah, drank too much, and suffered for it.

And learned.

#13 | Posted by LampLighter at 2025-12-05 12:46 AM

Similar story with pics (super cute!):

#14 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2025-12-05 10:16 AM

#14: Poor thing! "Hic!"

#15 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-12-05 10:25 AM

Awww.

Lil Whiskey Pete is so cute!

#16 | Posted by donnerboy at 2025-12-05 05:42 PM

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