[Verse 1]
When I heard the NRA was writing big ass checks
I went right down to VirginiaandI said, "Menext"
They said, "Go ye to theschool and spread the good news"
I said, "I need a bulletproof vest and some good running shoes"
They said, "We got those," I said, "Cool, where at?"
They said, "They're next to the spoons, making everyone fat"

Now I was rolling my eyes like a rolling stone
When Uncle Huckabee called me on the telephone
H said, "I'm raising up money for a people in need"
I said, "Of cours, Uncle Huck, that strip is starving indeed"
He said, "The Lord's at work here, boy, the job ain't done
Son, you need Jesus and Jesus needs guns"

[Chorus]
It makes no sense
One man's terror's another man's defense

[Verse 2]
When the Holy Golden Toad spat him out of his mouth
The techno-billionaire Goblin was about K-holed out
But he left behind Big Balls, like some vestigial tail
Well, them balls went to town and got beat all to hell
Some days the DOGE-ing is easy, some days the DOGE-ing is hard
When the DOGE-ing don't work, you'd better call in the Guard

The Citrus Caesar and the Thielian Prince
Were throwing it all at the wall just to see what would stick
Even I got distracted, that weather was bad
That was the iciest summer that I've ever had
Some days I forget that Cracker Barrels exist
But there ain't no one forgetting about that list

[Chorus]
It makes no sense
One man's crime's another man's intelligence

[Verse 3]
The Nostradamus of Austin cried out to the Lord
He said them frogs might be gay, but I'll still be your sword
While television anchors talked at the air
Does a lie make a noise if there ain't nobody there?
"This ain't no country for cable", said the wisest of men
Honey, crank up the Tucker while I pack me a Zyn

It was getting kinda late, so I went back to the morgue
They were doing the autopsy of July 4th
I said, "Hold the scalpel boys, she ain't dead yet"
I got a parlay in China, we can still win the bet
The technician was drunk on muskadine wine
He said, "I'm going to Mars," I said, "Good riddance, goodbye"

[Chorus]
It makes no sense
You can leave if you want but all your problems go with

[Outro]
Yes, they do