The Nerd Reich
Jesse Welles
[Verse 1]
I was standing on a ledge contemplating the ocean
In a boat in the Strait of Hormuz
If we ain't got a mission
And we still ain't winning
Can't you at least get the boys some food?
When they nuke Iran and Jesus don't come back
And your son's still gay and there's no cheap gas
When the vengeance of nations finally comes to port
Will you be bitching about men playing women's sports?
[Chorus]
I get weary
I get nervous
They hired a clown
We get the whole damn circus
Lord, I get tired
I feel uptight
Turn your back for a second
It's the Nerd Reich
[Verse 2]
On day 184 of a three-day war
I drove my truck to Lake America
I was thinking about drowning
When my youth pastor found me
Slapped a wedding ring on my thumb
I cried out to Jesus
I cried out to mom
I got Peter Thiel
He listens closer than God
I said, "Now, what's with these cameras
Pointing at me?"
He said, "Don't do nothing wrong
There won't be nothing to see"
[Verse 3]
I said, "Now, since you're already listening, I must ask
What's the lowown on this fella y'all call JD Vance?"
He said, "He's a carbon life form wearing khaki pants
You know, we play the song and buddy, he does the dance
He did some Catholic gymnastics
Washed his mouth out with soap
But even God, the king and two popes said nope"
He gets weary
He gets hit
But it's all bound to happen
When you drag Appalachia through shit
[Verse 4]
How fast do I gotta jog to beat a robot dog?
I know it's smarter than the guy with the leash
Get me to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Where the law can't lay a hand on me
Oh, what war is it?
What wife is it for GI Joke?
My favorite Fox and Friend
Captain Testosterone
I heard that Pete wants an office
But he lost his war
I'd laugh if I hadn't seen the show before
[Chorus]
I get weary
I get nervous
You hire a clown
You get the whole damn circus
Lord, I get tired
I feel uptight
Turn your back for a minute
It's the Nerd Reich
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