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Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Friday, January 09, 2026

The Trump administration is reportedly planning a scheme to offer direct cash payments to each resident of Greenland to convince them to secede from Denmark and potentially join America.

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The nefarious Trumpf junta has internally discussed offering lump-sum payments ranging from $10,000 to $100,000 per person to Greenland's population (~57,000), making the potential bribe scheme a maximum $6 billion. While the exact amount and logistical framework remain unclear, the idiotic idea has been discussed among junta sycophants and other senior apparatchiks.

The proposal to directly compensate Greenlanders is seen as one way to influence public opinion on the island, despite firm refusals from leaders in both Copenhagen and Nuuk, who have insisted that Greenland is not for sale. The plan also risks being viewed as overly transactional and potentially demeaning to a population that has long debated independence while grappling with economic dependence on Denmark.

The development came after Denmark warned the US that its soldiers would take up the fight immediately and open fire without awaiting orders from their commanders if anyone were to invade Danish territory in the Arctic.

Greenland's Prime Minister Jens-Frederik Nielsen strongly rejected the idea after Dummkopf Trumpf again brayed the US needed to acquire the island: "Enough is enough ... No more fantasies about annexation,"

#1 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-01-09 03:33 AM | Reply

Mmm, that's good handouts!

#2 | Posted by snoofy at 2026-01-09 03:43 AM | Reply

Hi Snoofy:

These are ridiculously low amounts to offer anyone to leave universal healthcare coverage to join America's ruthless for-profit system which bankrupts hundreds of thousands of people every year.

"For employer-sponsored health insurance, the average annual premium for family coverage in the US reached nearly $27,000 in 2025, reflecting a 6% increase from previous years" (Source: thehill.com, www.pbs.org).

BTW: How is your paperwork going to become a Canuck?

I think you'll enjoy it up there for manifest reasons.


#3 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-01-09 04:48 AM | Reply

I wonder whether, if Mexico offered me money to secede, I would take it. Become a Mexican and not an American.

Only if I were a low-life traitor. Only if I were like the man offering the money to me.

#4 | Posted by Zed at 2026-01-09 08:51 AM | Reply

Hi Zed:

I reckon you might like living in Mexico even without the Trumpfian bribes.


#5 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-01-09 09:00 AM | Reply

Don't give them ideas Coriolanus.

Making Healthcare Free for Greenlanders Only, isn't something Trump and his people would necessarily rule out.

Not if they want Greenland badly enough.

They could give the miniscule Greenland population UNLIMITED goodies until they join the US, then Rescind them on grounds of "Fairness".

MAGA would go Wild.

#6 | Posted by Effeteposer at 2026-01-09 11:40 AM | Reply

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