"Hear ye, hear ye kind people and gather my words!

Comes now the news that good-for-nothing billionaire heiress Linda McMahon has been righteously condemned to having her soul separated from her body at an acacia tree for the following blasphemies: trafficking in pederasty, perpetrating class war on her fellow Americans, depriving young people of a future, and other heresies. Sentence will be carried out immediately by Samaritans.

Ye are hereby commended to be of good cheer and spread these glad tidings!"

"Top rope," get it?