Rigor Tortoise Says Fall Sent Him To The Hospital

Sunday, July 12, 2026

U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell said he will not rejoin the Senate when it returns to work on Monday because he is still recovering from a fall and from pneumonia.
"As much as it frustrates me, this process takes time," McConnell said in a statement on Sunday, his first since he was hospitalized last month. "And on the advice of my doctors, I won't be able to return to the Senate floor to vote quite yet."

Posted by reinheitsgebot at 11:57 PM | 8 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry |

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MAGA Calls BS on Moscow Mitch's Proof of Life Stunt

www.thedailybeast.com

#1 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2026-07-13 12:02 AM | Reply

"As much as being dead as a doornail frustrates me, my wife moving back to China really....zzzzzzzzzzz........"

#2 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-07-13 12:16 AM | Reply

Oh, and nobody comes back from a nursing home

#3 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-07-13 12:17 AM | Reply

And .....film at 11? Yes? No? Yes?

#4 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-07-13 12:25 AM | Reply

These people ... soooo entitled.
Look at Iowa's ridiculous Grassley.
He's announced he's seeking another term.
He will be 105 if he completes it.
They all seem to think they're irreplaceable.
Ask Lindsey Graham how that approach works out.
Just. Get. Out.

#5 | Posted by Doc_sarvis at 2026-07-13 05:23 AM | Reply

One website shows US Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) has a net worth of $8m.

When this fossil finally retires, he will collect a maximum annual pension of about $154,720. His spouse would be entitled to a survivor annuity worth 55% of his earned benefit, or roughly $85,096 per year.

Pretty rewarding for spending a lifetime being an enemy of progress, justice, and prosperity for poor people.

And this dinosaur will never live long enough to spend it all.

#6 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-07-13 06:25 AM | Reply

Dear Boss:
Took a fall, can't provide details, but that was weeks ago and now I'm good to go. Just not yet. Few more weeks. Keep them checks and benefits rolling in. God bless, you the best!
~ Mitch
Sales Assistant, Vegetables

#7 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-07-13 06:27 AM | Reply

Down a flight of stairs, no doubt.

Chickens are coming home to roost.

#8 | Posted by Dbt2 at 2026-07-13 07:01 AM | Reply