Playing the markets? Quelle sooprise.

With negotiations breaking down and hostilities resuming between the U.S. and Iran, the Iranian government does have an incentive to make the Trump administration look worse than usual. Unfortunately, even if this report is false, the White House's track record makes it seem all too plausible.

Market manipulation has become all too common in Trump's second term, particularly during the Iran war, with Trump making carefully timed statements that seem designed to create short-term stock gains. Suspiciously timed bets on prediction markets during the war also raised suspicions that insider trading was taking place within the White House, with the Trump administration even warning staff not to bet on world events.

Laurel and Hardy without the expertise.

The thing, to remember about The Art of the Deal is Trump didn't write it. And there's a good chance he never read it, either. As Tony Schwartz, Trump's ghostwriter, explains, ""He is incapable of reading a book, much less writing one."

When you move beyond simple intimidation, smash and grab, busting-out a business, and outright theft Trump is at a loss for what to do and how to account for himself.

That's when he kicks his fake-gold Lego dollhouse into a gazillion pieces, stomps his little feet, and cries out - as tears transform his makeup into a rivuleting creation rivaling one of Jackson Pollock's later drip canvases that Peggy Guggenheim squeezed out of him - "I'M NOT PLAYING ANYMORE!" as he stomps away, pausing to make sure some hired flatterer is paying attention. Just another wonderful day in the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue neighborhood.