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Trump (Again) Claims Deal to End Iran War Near
And now, the end is near...
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this...
When I bit off more than I could chew...
I ate it up and spit it out...
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside...
I did it my way
And now for something completely different:
babylonbee.com - Trump Sets New World Record By Winning War With Iran 27 Times In One Year - 2026-06-11
|------- WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump set a new world record this week by winning the same war with Iran for the 27th time this year, shattering the previous record of one.
... "No one thought we could win the war so many times," Trump told reporters. "We won it very strongly. Then we won it again bigly, and then we won it even more. Frankly, nobody has ever won the same war this many times. It's incredible, many people are saying historic, what we're accomplishing."
Guinness World Records awarded Trump with a special plaque commemorating the prestigious record for winning the most wars against the same country in a single calendar year.
"It's an honor. What can I tell you? It's a great honor," Trump told reporters as he humbly accepted the long-sought-after award. "I've been gunning for this one a long time, and it finally paid off, let me tell you. Lots of people were talking about it. They said, 'You can't do it. No one will fight America enough.' But they weren't thinking about Iran. Iran really made this possible. The great people of Iran. I love them, but I had to keep bombing them so I could lock down this record. It's a beautiful record, and I don't think anyone will ever beat it." ...
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Bonus: babylonbee.com - Trump Repairs The Crack In The Liberty Bell - 2026-06-05
< /satire >
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The number of murdered Gazans at the hands of the homicidal IDF is now 73,146; 20,179 are children.
By pen and paper calculation, the IDF will have slaughtered just under 75,000 Muslims by the end of 2026.
The peace-loving, hardworking American taxpayer is funding an army of John Wayne Gacies wearing uniforms.
Meanwhile, we have the BBB and severe austerity measures coming up while Israel offers world class universal heath care for all her residents.
How do y'all enjoy sky-rocketing health insurance premiums and infinite amounts of torturous paperwork that Israelis, Germans, Canadians, Greenlanders, Taiwanese, Albanians, Cubans and Brits don't have to worry about?
So, let's keeping funding these ethnic cleansers who laugh and take videos of their war crimes and blasphemies.
IDF = The Zodiac Killer, Son of Sam, Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, and the Charles Manson Cult
"Jew hater!"