Kristi Noem's Bag, Including $3k Cash, Keys, Passport, DHS Badge Stolen

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem fell victim to a thief while eating dinner at a downtown Washington, DC, restaurant Sunday night, the secretary confirmed Monday.

Posted by qcp at 11:31 PM | 21 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry |

Alternate links: Google News | Twitter

Kristi Noem is now undocumented.

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-- Grant Stern (@grantstern.bsky.social) April 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM

Comments

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i.gifer.com

#1 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-04-21 01:35 PM | Reply

I take that what she REALLY wants back is the makeup bag.

#2 | Posted by Corky at 2025-04-21 01:43 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

driver's license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash.

No gun?

#3 | Posted by REDIAL at 2025-04-21 01:44 PM | Reply

She was probably conceal carrying...

#4 | Posted by YAV at 2025-04-21 01:46 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

She was probably conceal carrying...

Or her SS detail has a dog and won't let her carry one.

#5 | Posted by REDIAL at 2025-04-21 01:48 PM | Reply | Funny: 2 | Newsworthy 1

Ouch!
lol!

#6 | Posted by YAV at 2025-04-21 01:50 PM | Reply

Kristi Noem's bag $3k cash, keys, passport, DHS badge stolen

And the vial of powder from ground-up puppies she sprinkles on every meal ...

#7 | Posted by AMERICANUNITY at 2025-04-21 02:53 PM | Reply

And what medication is Kristi Noem taking for her condition? i.pinimg.com

#8 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-04-21 03:04 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

Also the plans for the extermination camps.

#9 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-04-21 06:55 PM | Reply

What is she doing with three thousand dollars and blank checks in her purse?

Did it contain something even more "valuable" such as her phone?

A backup human skin face?

#10 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2025-04-22 10:38 AM | Reply

"We are currently clean on OPSEC!!"

#11 | Posted by donnerboy at 2025-04-22 02:51 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

#10: i.ytimg.com

#12 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-04-22 03:05 PM | Reply

"driver's license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash."

I suspect her bag was worth more than the cash.

#13 | Posted by danni at 2025-04-23 12:41 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

unknown white male

-figures

#14 | Posted by itchyp at 2025-04-23 05:54 AM | Reply

She's another incompetent MAGA twunt.

#15 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2025-04-23 05:57 AM | Reply

"Kristi Noem's Bag"

I thought Kristi Noem was Trump's bag.

#16 | Posted by snoofy at 2025-04-23 11:27 AM | Reply | Funny: 1

Hopefully her gun was in it-America's pets can breathe easier.

#17 | Posted by Yodagirl at 2025-04-23 03:00 PM | Reply

I read somewhere that that cow was working a '----------' in the bathroom of that restaurant and someone stole all that stuff from her just as she was finishing off some stranger. Some things are stranger than fiction. I also read that "it" was orange in color so maybe she thought it was the orange beast himself in the next room on the receiving end of her lips.

#18 | Posted by Wildman62 at 2025-04-23 06:56 PM | Reply

lso the plans for the extermination camps.

#9 | Posted by LegallyYourDead

where were you last sunday and can you prove it.

just thought I'd let you prepare for the cops I sent over.

I sent them to the garbage dump behind the restaurant

where you and REIN have your romantic dinners.

#19 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2025-04-24 12:50 PM | Reply

I suspect her bag was worth more than the cash.

#13 | Posted by danni

probably right and because she can afford one that means you

can't

---the green monster....

#20 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2025-04-24 12:53 PM | Reply

I thought Kristi Noem was Trump's bag.

#16 | Posted by snoofy

send her the bag your wife puts over your head.

chuckle

#21 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2025-04-24 12:55 PM | Reply