babylonbee.com - Trump Sets New World Record By Winning War With Iran 27 Times In One Year - 2026-06-11

|------- WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump set a new world record this week by winning the same war with Iran for the 27th time this year, shattering the previous record of one.

... "No one thought we could win the war so many times," Trump told reporters. "We won it very strongly. Then we won it again bigly, and then we won it even more. Frankly, nobody has ever won the same war this many times. It's incredible, many people are saying historic, what we're accomplishing."

Guinness World Records awarded Trump with a special plaque commemorating the prestigious record for winning the most wars against the same country in a single calendar year.

"It's an honor. What can I tell you? It's a great honor," Trump told reporters as he humbly accepted the long-sought-after award. "I've been gunning for this one a long time, and it finally paid off, let me tell you. Lots of people were talking about it. They said, 'You can't do it. No one will fight America enough.' But they weren't thinking about Iran. Iran really made this possible. The great people of Iran. I love them, but I had to keep bombing them so I could lock down this record. It's a beautiful record, and I don't think anyone will ever beat it." ...
-------|

Bonus: babylonbee.com - Trump Repairs The Crack In The Liberty Bell - 2026-06-05

< /satire >
__________