Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Tuesday, September 15, 2026

FBI director Kash Patel defended his agency's decision to roll back restrictions on agent applicants who have previously engaged in bestiality, arguing the FBI "did not want to punish victims of bestiality" by automatically disqualifying them.

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PATEL: The previous regulation automatically disqualified any individual who participated in either side of it KENNEDY: Either side of beastiality? So you disqualified the animal? P: Well, we have great canines, but we're not going to disqualify them K: I'm trying to understand why you did this.

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-- Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 10:18 AM · Sep 15, 2026

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Sheep ------- make great FBI agents.

~MAGAts~

#1 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2026-09-15 02:03 PM | Reply

W-w-w-well, I o-ob-obj-object!
~ Porky Pig

#2 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-09-15 03:24 PM | Reply

Ah, the FBI. Where men are men and a majority of mammals are nervous.

#3 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-09-15 05:40 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Those poor chickens. They've been punished enough. Keep their names secret.

#4 | Posted by Zed at 2026-09-15 05:56 PM | Reply

Jesus wept.

#5 | Posted by Angrydad at 2026-09-15 09:54 PM | Reply

There are sometimes I click on a link and say to myself "this has to be an onion article".

And then I realize that these are MAGA Republicans and that they actually said and believe this ridiculous thing. And other Republicans just don't care.

#6 | Posted by gtbritishskull at 2026-09-15 10:08 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

The 2024 Democrats ought to be mighty proud of themselves, ignoring 43,391 defenseless Palestinians in Gaza butchered by the Israeli Death Forces (IDF) while paying absolutely no heed at all to the important progressive bloc of the American electorate, losing a minimum 7,371,247 votes on Tuesday 5 Nov 2024.

Now we have Dummkopf Trumpf and masked ICE stormtroopers with electro-shock torture gloves, Terminator-style robo-hounds, and an FBI that will be staffed by bestiality perverts who will be monitoring us from a dissident surveillance center (NSPM-7) and who may be deployed to poll sites on Tuesday 3 Nov 2026 to intimidate voters.

But, hey, the 2024 Democrats got the g____m 140 Israeli hostages released, right?

No wonder that a You Gov Survey this summer ranked Joe Biden in a tie with the late psychopath Charles Manson as the "Worst American of All Time" and 50% of all Americans want ICC-indicted war criminal Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu arrested for a litany of blasphemies, massacres, mass murders, and other wanton cruelties like inflicting starvation on women and children in Gaza.

So tomorrow, go thank an AIPAC voter or politician the first chance you get.

Enjoy your obscene blood-soaked $417,000 annual pension "Genocide Joe" and stew in your political exile, "Blacula Harris," while the rest of us regular Americans have to deal with the dystopian nightmare that you left us with that includes perverts in the FBI.

And for you number-crunchers, "Genocide Joe's" absurd annual pension works out to approximately $10 per slaughtered Palestinian in Gaza.

Genocide Joe and Blacula Harris, the Hubert Humphrey and Edmund Muskie of 2024:

...

"FUNNY"

#7 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-09-15 11:45 PM | Reply

The Haitians may be eating the cats and dogs, but the FBI are fucking them.

#8 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-09-16 12:20 AM | Reply

Fortunately thanks to Cashboy those dogs are now eligible to apply to be FBI agents.

#9 | Posted by donnerboy at 2026-09-16 12:43 AM | Reply

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