Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Tuesday, September 15, 2026

FBI director Kash Patel defended his agency's decision to roll back restrictions on agent applicants who have previously engaged in bestiality, arguing the FBI "did not want to punish victims of bestiality" by automatically disqualifying them.

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PATEL: The previous regulation automatically disqualified any individual who participated in either side of it KENNEDY: Either side of beastiality? So you disqualified the animal? P: Well, we have great canines, but we're not going to disqualify them K: I'm trying to understand why you did this.

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-- Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 10:18 AM · Sep 15, 2026

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Sheep ------- make great FBI agents.

~MAGAts~

#1 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2026-09-15 02:03 PM | Reply

W-w-w-well, I o-ob-obj-object!
~ Porky Pig

#2 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-09-15 03:24 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Ah, the FBI. Where men are men and a majority of mammals are nervous.

#3 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-09-15 05:40 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

Those poor chickens. They've been punished enough. Keep their names secret.

#4 | Posted by Zed at 2026-09-15 05:56 PM | Reply

Jesus wept.

#5 | Posted by Angrydad at 2026-09-15 09:54 PM | Reply

There are sometimes I click on a link and say to myself "this has to be an onion article".

And then I realize that these are MAGA Republicans and that they actually said and believe this ridiculous thing. And other Republicans just don't care.

#6 | Posted by gtbritishskull at 2026-09-15 10:08 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

The 2024 Democrats ought to be mighty proud of themselves, ignoring 43,391 defenseless Palestinians in Gaza butchered by the Israeli Death Forces (IDF) while paying absolutely no heed at all to the important progressive bloc of the American electorate, losing a minimum 7,371,247 votes on Tuesday 5 Nov 2024.

Now we have Dummkopf Trumpf and masked ICE stormtroopers with electro-shock torture gloves, Terminator-style robo-hounds, and an FBI that will be staffed by ---------- perverts who will be monitoring us from a dissident surveillance center (NSPM-7) and who may be deployed to poll sites on Tuesday 3 Nov 2026 to intimidate voters.

But, hey, the 2024 Democrats got the g____m 140 Israeli hostages released, right?

No wonder that a You Gov Survey this summer ranked Joe Biden in a tie with the late psychopath Charles Manson as the "Worst American of All Time" and 50% of all Americans want ICC-indicted war criminal Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu arrested for a litany of blasphemies, massacres, mass murders, and other wanton cruelties like inflicting starvation on women and children in Gaza.

So tomorrow, go thank an AIPAC voter or politician the first chance you get.

Enjoy your obscene blood-soaked $417,000 annual pension "Genocide Joe" and stew in your political exile, "Blacula Harris," while the rest of us regular Americans have to deal with the dystopian nightmare that you left us with that includes perverts in the FBI.

And for you number-crunchers, "Genocide Joe's" absurd annual pension works out to approximately $10 per slaughtered Palestinian in Gaza.

Genocide Joe and Blacula Harris, the Hubert Humphrey and Edmund Muskie of 2024:

...

"FUNNY"

#7 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-09-15 11:45 PM | Reply | Funny: 1

The Haitians may be eating the cats and dogs, but the FBI are ------- them.

#8 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-09-16 12:20 AM | Reply

Fortunately thanks to Cashboy those dogs are now eligible to apply to be FBI agents.

#9 | Posted by donnerboy at 2026-09-16 12:43 AM | Reply

#7 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS

Thank you Johnny One-Note. Isn't there an explosive vest somewhere with your name on it?

#10 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2026-09-16 01:02 AM | Reply

Fortunately thanks to Cashboy those dogs are now eligible to apply to be FBI agents.
#9 | POSTED BY DONNERBOY

They're going to be sexually assaulted.

Most likely by Kashyap himself.

Get a couple beers in him and any hole will do.

#11 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-09-16 01:14 AM | Reply

The nefarious Trumpf junta is making it nearly impossible for the next non-Republican Party/non-AIPAC administration come 20 Jan 2028 to clean out the FBI, CIA, DHS, ICE, and DOS of all these inbred MAGAts, Jan 6 runamoks, and perverts, as well as the AIPAC pod-people and Russophiles.

The new FBI agents that underwent the eight-week crash course and who don't have college degrees will be unable to deal with AUSAs and federal magistrates/judges. The four-month long FBI academy once included counterintelligence operations and white collar crime investigations. These plonkas will have to be fired or re-trained, as well as re-investigated.

Oof!

In fact, enlisted US Army MPs receive much more training than today's FBI agents.

Such a daunting task for the next administration is on the scale of the failed de-Nazification program of Germany (1946 - 1949), which amounted to a kabuki theater of Nuremberg Trials, but untouched German industrialists and patents.

Endnote:

Americans can also thank 2024 Democratic VPOTUS candidate Minnesota Gov Tim "Mephisto" Walz (D-MN) who lowered the state flags on 7 Oct 2023 for 1,500 Israeli strangers he never met, only to have Israeli-trained masked ICE thugs run rampage through his state in 2025, killing innocent people.

The irony is rich.

Tim Walz did not lower the state flags for the thousands of Palestinians murdered by the Israeli Death Forces (IDF) in Gaza or for people in Somalia slaughtered by incessant US military airstrikes.

Now instead of being VPOTUS, Tim Walz can't wait to retire from politics forever.

So, "Mephisto Walz," enjoy your Minnesota governor and teacher's pensions, MNARNG military retirement pay (24 years), and Congressional pension (12 years). And thanks for putting Israel ahead of Minnesota and the US which condemned the rest of us in America to this sulfuric Gehenna.


"FUNNY"

#12 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2026-09-16 01:29 AM | Reply | Funny: 2

Speed dating at Bugsy Patel's FBI.

x.com

#13 | Posted by reinheitsgebot at 2026-09-16 01:49 PM | Reply

Obviously they live in an area of leftist progressive women WHO TYPICALLY weigh 350 pounds at 5'6" AND think it's " sexy" and healthy.... So give them a break.

For the sake of reinsagoober and legallysuxdk.

#14 | Posted by shrimptacodan at 2026-09-16 01:56 PM | Reply

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