Big Balls Assaulted In DC

Wednesday, August 06, 2025

A 19-year-old man known as "Big Balls" who played a key role in the DOGE initiative to shrink the size of government was assaulted over the weekend in Washington, according to city police. Edward Coristine, who still works for the government, was assaulted by approximately 10 juveniles near Dupont Circle about 3 a.m. Sunday, according to a police report obtained by POLITICO.

Posted by reinheitsgebot at 03:21 AM | 19 COMMENTS | permalink | Comment on This Entry |

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What a shame. Years ago people at the Pentagon used to call Dupont Circle "Fruit Loop" because of the sexual orientation of many of the residents there. I wonder if that or drugs were involved in this 3AM fracas? i.kym-cdn.com

#1 | Posted by C0RI0LANUS at 2025-08-06 03:51 AM | Reply | Newsworthy 1

"3AM fracas?"

When honest working people are sound asleep.

The point makes itself.

#2 | Posted by Zed at 2025-08-06 08:25 AM | Reply

The Lord works in strange and mysterious ways.

I feel bad he was the victim of a violent crime.

I am disappointed that God decided it should be punishment by random selection.

#3 | Posted by Wardog at 2025-08-06 08:40 AM | Reply

DuPont Circle is still a very safe area.
Any bets on -------- opening his BigMouth?

#4 | Posted by YAV at 2025-08-06 08:49 AM | Reply

"Edward Coristine, who played a key role in early days of DOGE, was attacked while trying to stop an apparent carjacking, according to a police report."

Good Samaritan vs the YNs. The YNs usually win in the short term.

#5 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2025-08-06 10:25 AM | Reply

I am disappointed that God decided it should be punishment by random selection.

#3 | POSTED BY WARDOG

Now don't be questioning the Big Guy.

You know he works in mysterious ways.

#6 | Posted by donnerboy at 2025-08-06 10:26 AM | Reply

was attacked while trying to stop an apparent carjacking

10 people were carjacking?

#7 | Posted by Alexandrite at 2025-08-06 11:58 AM | Reply

Were they clowns?

#8 | Posted by YAV at 2025-08-06 12:32 PM | Reply

Were they clowns?
#8 | Posted by YAV

It's amazing how you can make fun of victims, and still think you're a good person.

#9 | Posted by oneironaut at 2025-08-06 12:51 PM | Reply

POSTED BY ONEIRONAUT

"Open Borders liberal", says what?

No one cares what an idiot who supports fascism thinks about anything.

#10 | Posted by ClownShack at 2025-08-06 12:55 PM | Reply

#9 - Thanks! I am an extremely good person!

#11 | Posted by YAV at 2025-08-06 01:40 PM | Reply

Pretty sure that cuck is a ------- liar, just like PEDO DONNIE

#12 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-08-06 02:03 PM | Reply

"was assaulted by approximately 10 juveniles near Dupont Circle about 3 a.m."

WHO THE ---- GOES OUT AT 3 AM?

#13 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-08-06 02:04 PM | Reply

#9 | Posted by oneironaut

You're a cock-gargling little ----, sonny boy.

#14 | Posted by LegallyYourDead at 2025-08-06 02:04 PM | Reply

Dupont Circle is the gay neighborhood in D.C.

#15 | Posted by snoofy at 2025-08-06 02:06 PM | Reply

And this is why you always pay the transvestite hooker after getting your prostates stimulated

#16 | Posted by Tor at 2025-08-06 02:10 PM | Reply

... and now the rest of the story for you liberal Goofballs:

"Edward Coristine, known by his nickname "Big Balls," was one of the most prominent figures in former President Donald Trump's DOGE, a group charged with cutting federal bureaucracy.

Coristine was assaulted around 3 a.m. Sunday in Logan Circle by a group of teens attempting to carjack him and a woman described by police as his significant other, authorities said.

D.C. Police said a group of teens approached the couple, made a comment about taking it, and were confronted after Coristine pushed the woman into the vehicle for safety. Several of the teens attacked him before nearby officers stepped in, prompting the group to flee."

#17 | Posted by MSgt at 2025-08-06 02:43 PM | Reply

Sounds like a drug deal gone bad.

#18 | Posted by sitzkrieg at 2025-08-06 02:51 PM | Reply

We need to hear from his "friend's" perspective.

I believe the 10 kids were attempting to jack the car.

That's what Coristone was actually protecting, imo.

#19 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2025-08-06 10:33 PM | Reply