Grift, Ego, or Revenge?, Part III: "Trump-Class" Battleships

And now, an item that is clearly about Donald Trump's ego. The President has long carped about the Navy's ships, and his primary complaint is that they are... ugly. After all, most of them have been at sea for a while, and so there's some rust, and some worn paint, and some barnacles, and the like. So, as he did during Trump v1.0, he is going to try to overhaul the fleet. Last week, the Navy announced construction of a new class of frigates, and yesterday Trump himself announced the construction of a new class of battleships and a new class of aircraft carriers.

The President offered very little detail about the aircraft carriers, but he had much to say about the battleships. For example, he revealed that the first ship in the new class will be the U.S.S. Defiant (have they been showing Star Trek: Deep Space Nine reruns at Mar-a-Lago?), and that it would be ready for duty in 2 years. He also said that the new ships will be "100 times more powerful than any battleship ever built," which we assume uses the same math as his claim that prescription drug prices would drop by 400%, 500%, 600%. Trump noted that the battleships would be the centerpiece of a new "Golden Fleet" (he didn't say actual gold decorations would be used, but you have to assume they will be). Oh, and he also mentioned that the new class of ships would be known as the Trump-class. Maybe, just maybe, that is why he's so interested in them.

One wonders if Pete Hegseth or someone else has been reading a book about the Navy at the turn of the 20th century. That was when battleships were the king of warships (before being displaced by aircraft carriers in World War II, and then arguably by smaller, more maneuverable ships in the last 20-30 years). Further, in 1907, then-president Theodore Roosevelt, in a display of American power and penis size, dispatched a fleet of 16 battleships known as the Great White Fleet to sail around the globe. They were known by that name because they were painted white (though also because they were promoting the superiority of the white race, even if that wasn't stated openly). It can't be a coincidence that Trump's battleship fleet is going to be known as the Golden Fleet, can it be? Certainly, while the color of the ships may be different than in TR's time, the other parts of the mission are exactly the same.

We also assume that everyone, except Trump, knows that any class of ships is named after the first ship of that class. So, if these ships come to fruition (and the ones from Trump v1.0 did not, so don't assume anything) these are going to be Defiant-class ships. We also assume everyone, except Trump, knows that no ship is ever completed on schedule, and that when this one is done (again, if it ever is), his presidency will be over, or nearly so. And, at that point, everyone will just use the correct convention, and call them Defiant-class.

Clearly, the people in Trump's orbit have realized that puffing up his ego is their job right now, and that it doesn't especially matter if "Trump-class" or "The Donald J. Trump and John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts" or "Trump Accounts" or "The Arc de Trump" have very little chance of keeping his name beyond January 20, 2029. (Z)