Drudge Retort: The Other Side of the News
Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is demanding "testosterone deficiency" testing for U.S. soldiers to ensure they're masculine enough to be a part of his anti-woke military. Hegseth unveiled the new screening, which will be mandatory for service members over the age of 30, in a video announcement Wednesday.

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... "Today, I'm authorizing a new screening program for testosterone deficiency for our service members -- ensuring you have the right testosterone levels to operate at your absolute best.

Because it's well-established science that as we age, testosterone levels often, naturally, drop," Hegseth said.

On X, he captioned the video, "The High-T Department of War." ...



#1 | Posted by LampLighter at 2026-07-15 03:36 PM | Reply

My first thought was that this was a joke. I am appalled that it is not in fact an onion article. Get me out of this Idiocracy simulation!

#2 | Posted by justagirl_idaho at 2026-07-15 03:38 PM | Reply | Newsworthy 3

Does anyone else perceive a homoerotic theme here?

#3 | Posted by Zed at 2026-07-15 03:42 PM | Reply

I want to hear the medical basis for determining this "therapy" effective to erect masculinity from Hegseth.

His feels are "gimp seeks dom" vibe.

#4 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2026-07-15 03:52 PM | Reply

I've never had my testosterone level checked. I'm 57

Is there any data that demonstrates soldiers with lower levels are at greater risk or put others at greater risk? At risk for death or injury?

#5 | Posted by eberly at 2026-07-15 03:54 PM | Reply

#5 | Posted by eberly

He also doesnt want women so it is probably because he feels like low T men would be too much like a chick for his taste.

#6 | Posted by justagirl_idaho at 2026-07-15 04:09 PM | Reply

Pete Hegseth has two supernumerary ------- located in the place his balls should be.

#7 | Posted by NerfHerder at 2026-07-15 04:44 PM | Reply

No more MAGA in the army I guess.

Poor lil incels

#8 | Posted by Sycophant at 2026-07-15 05:07 PM | Reply

"The High-T Department of War."

Could a video title scream "guys with insecurity issues" any louder?

#9 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2026-07-15 05:35 PM | Reply

Service members have been instructed to lineup in a single file line and placed their dick through a hole in the wall.

Hegseth will personally conduct the tests.

He knows good seaman when he tastes it.

#10 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 06:20 PM | Reply

"lineup in a single file line and placed their dick through a hole in the wall."

Dream come true, right?

Why do you criticize behavior you personally engage in?

#11 | Posted by eberly at 2026-07-15 06:36 PM | Reply

Omg!

Why are you commenting on my comment?

So rude!

#12 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 06:38 PM | Reply

Also.

Lighten up Nancy.

It's gloryhole joke for Turds, FartFisher and BullBringer.

#13 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 06:39 PM | Reply

-So rude!

I held off on the racist, Nazi, pedo accusation

What was I thinking????

#14 | Posted by eberly at 2026-07-15 06:42 PM | Reply

Maybe if you do your chores, your wife will give you a blow job.

Good lick!

#15 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 06:45 PM | Reply

15

Is that all your man has to do to get one from you?

Expect more from him ... ..

#16 | Posted by eberly at 2026-07-15 06:47 PM | Reply

My husband doesn't even need to do that.

Sometimes he just has to look over.

Enjoy celibacy.

#17 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 06:50 PM | Reply

This is gender affirming care.

#18 | Posted by oneironaut at 2026-07-15 06:56 PM | Reply

This is gender affirming care.

Only if you believe Hegseth to be the final authority on gender.

Which, you probably do.

You seem like the type who would idolize Hegseth.

#19 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 06:58 PM | Reply

Is there any data that demonstrates soldiers with lower levels are at greater risk or put others at greater risk? At risk for death or injury?

Testosterone gives one confidence. So you can imagine less confidence, like ClownShack or ShantSpeak, puts all of us at risk.

#20 | Posted by oneironaut at 2026-07-15 06:58 PM | Reply

You seem like the type who would idolize Hegseth.

Per your own statements, you're closer to his type than I am.

#21 | Posted by oneironaut at 2026-07-15 07:01 PM | Reply

Maybe if you do your chores, your wife will give you a blow job.

Do people understand the purpose of the blow job?

I mean if you're a gay man why would you give another gay man a blow job?

Blow jobs aren't for giving pleasure, they are for detecting infidelity.

Anyone giving a blowjob is looking to see if you're a cheater.

#22 | Posted by oneironaut at 2026-07-15 07:03 PM | Reply

This is just a backdoor way to kick out people over 30, because those are more likely to be the career officers and enlistees.
In other words, the experienced ones, wise enough to not rally behind a failure like Hegseth.

They're doing their best to tighten ranks.

#23 | Posted by snoofy at 2026-07-15 07:05 PM | Reply

you're closer to his type than I am.
#21 | POSTED BY ONETRUMPER

I'm not a closeted homosexual.

But you're an incel.

So.

You're correct.

Besides. Everyone knows Asians have the lowest levels of testosterone.

"Large-scale studies, including data from the PubMed and PubMed analyses, indicate that non-Hispanic Asian men, on average, have lower measured levels of total testosterone compared to Caucasian, Hispanic, and Black populations."

Womp womp!

#24 | Posted by ClownShack at 2026-07-15 07:07 PM | Reply

-I'm not a closeted homosexual

So? I'm not a closeted anything.

But you're special.

Who knows ... .maybe you're a closet drinker, smoker, gambler, Nazi, etc.

#25 | Posted by eberly at 2026-07-15 07:20 PM | Reply

Interesting comments on this thread.

imo, one of the best, so far, is #2 ...

No, sadly, it is not an Onion article. It is the leader of our Military saying this phlegm.

This seems to be the level of qualification needed to get a strategic position in the Trump Cabinet.




#26 | Posted by LampLighter at 2026-07-15 07:30 PM | Reply

-Anyone giving a blowjob is looking to see if you're a cheater.

Is that right, clown?

#27 | Posted by eberly at 2026-07-15 07:31 PM | Reply

Blow jobs aren't for giving pleasure, they are for detecting infidelity.

LOL. You poor sad sack.

#28 | Posted by Alexandrite at 2026-07-15 07:39 PM | Reply

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