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... that it's healthy to hold on to a decades old grudge?
No, decades of grudges are un-healthy... but for Israel it's not about "grudges," it's been about survival since Day 1.
Because, as the founding leaders of Hamas declared in 1988 - and put in Hamas Covenant (charter) - it's about unabated religious Jihad / "Holy Struggle" for one side only - "Article 8: Jihad is its path, and death for the sake of Allah is the loftiest of its wishes.":
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Hamas has called on all Jews and Christians to accept Islamic rule in the Middle East. "It is the duty of the followers of other religions to stop disputing the sovereignty of Islam in this region..."
Hamas also rejected any prospect of peace or coexistence with the state of Israel. "Initiatives, proposals and international conferences are all a waste of time..."
Since its creation in December 1987, Hamas has invoked militant Islam to spearhead a Sunni movement committed to destroying Israel.
The Hamas Covenant was largely crafted by Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, a quadriplegic and partially blind cleric who was the founder and spiritual leader of the militant militia in Gaza.
From the Hamas Covenant (1988, 2017):
"Palestine is the land of the Arab Palestinian people, from it they originate, to it they adhere and belong... Palestine is a land whose status has been elevated by Islam, a faith that holds it in high esteem, that breathes through it its spirit and just values and that lays the foundation for the doctrine of defending and protecting it. ...
Palestine, which extends from the River Jordan in the east to the Mediterranean in the west and from Ras Al-Naqurah in the north to Umm Al-Rashrash in the south, is an integral territorial unit. ..."
Khaled Mashal, a leader in exile, reflected the traditional Hamas hardline position in 2012: "The state will come from resistance, not negotiation. Palestine is ours from the river to the sea and from the south to the north. We will never recognize the legitimacy of the Israeli occupation, and therefore there is no legitimacy for Israel..."
{Recently "departed"} Ismail Haniyeh on Oct. 7, 2023 after Hamas attack on Israel: "We want to liberate our land, our holy sites, our Al-Aqsa mosque ... Al-Qassam Brigades made the enemy lose its balance ... with this grand and blessed incursion; with this epic presence of men who write history with their blood and their guns ... And we say to all countries, including our beloved Arab countries: you must know that this entity [Israel] ... is incapable of providing you with security or protection. All the normalization and recognition processes, all the agreements that have been signed [with Israel] can never put an end to this battle."
Hamas rejected 1993 Oslo Accords and deployed suicide bombers against Israeli civilian and military targets. In 2004, Israel assassinated Yassin in a missile strike. The Second Intifada ended in 2005, and Israel unilaterally withdrew from Gaza.
Islamic Republic of Iran has armed, trained and funded Hamas since the late 1980s, due to its stated ideology and common goal of destroying Israel. ...
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en.wikipedia.org - Since 2001, Palestinian militants have launched tens of thousands of rocket attacks on Israel from the Gaza Strip. The attacks, condemned for targeting civilians, have been described as terrorism and are defined as war crimes.
Speaking of Iran, more than a week ago IDF Special Forces conducted ground operation in Masyaf, Syria, which destroyed a covert Iranian-built underground factory making medium-range precision missiles for Hezbollah in Lebanon.
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